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Who am I?

This is how my depression works

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Who am I?
My Picture

My body rolls out of bed. A minute later, there are different clothes on me.

I look in the mirror as I see my two hands moving up and down my hair while holding a brush.

I don't wanna be seen.

I put on a hat.

I pop one of my pills in my mouth and drink some water on an empty stomach.

I feel that my backpack is on me already so I grab my keys.

I notice myself putting on 'Photograph" by Ed Sheeran, then switching it to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus as my hands are on the steering wheel.

I see cars around me, I see red and green lights.

I notice that my foot eases off the accelerator.

I notice my foot slowly stepping on the breaks.

I blink and I realize that I am at school. Oh.

I feel my body getting out of the car moving towards the school.

I stare blankly at the sky without a frown or a smile as I pass by professors and students.

I get to class, I am sitting in a chair.

I look out the window without realizing that my classmates are talking to me, did I say something back?

I don't care.

I am fatigued.

I am bored.

I notice the professor walk in.

He starts to write on the white blank board. Blank. Just like me.

Logic.

I write down notes and then my eyes go back to looking outside the window.

Class is over, I get out.

I feel myself floating towards the car.

I notice myself passing cars as I try to get home.

I am home.

I eat once and take a very long nap.

I wake up late, four hours later.

I check my phone, no texts.

I notice that my dad walks in and says hi, I say hi.

Whatever.

It's 9 p.m.

I am tired.

I lay down in bed.

I stare blankly at the wall.

Without realizing it, I am asleep.

Nightmares.

I let out screams.

I open my eyes at 5 a.m. realizing I have one more hour.

My body rolls out of bed. A minute later, there are different clothes on me.

I look in the mirror as I see my two hands moving up and down my hair while holding a brush.

I don't wanna be seen.

Wait.

Who am I?


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