We've all heard it, probably even said it ourselves: "I love Whitworth, everyone is so friendly!"

Whitworth is an institution with a heart that I see as set apart from other universities. From greetings on the Hello Walk, to quick conversations with friends and acquaintances in Saga, to being welcomed at Prime Time, Whitworth is different. It's special. However, in light of recent events, I have had to ask myself: is friendliness enough?

Is friendliness enough to break the cycles of violence and heartbreak that tear our world apart? Is it enough to cultivate compassion in a culture that feels so defined by apathy, resentment and greed? Is friendliness enough to restore the beauty and hope and joy that seems to be being squeezed out from the grand life that we share? My heart is so heavy with sorrow for all those who are hurting, and whose communities have been hurting for ages with no change in sight. It is from a place of desperate searching for solutions, immense heartache and fear for those I love and those who someone loves, and fierce hunger for peace that I conclude: friendliness is not enough.

"One of the most sinister things about normalized racism… is you don’t have to have bad intentions to be racist; you just have to remain ignorant." (x)

Friendliness keeps us in the same bubble of ignorance that allows bigotry to persist; it allows us to be nice while remaining at a comfortable distance from the reality of others' lives and how we can support them. It doesn't draw us into each others' struggles and joys and needs. It doesn't give us the desire to celebrate another's success, mourn their loss, or fight for the justice they deserve. Friendliness simply treats others well in ways that are easy and obvious. But, whether we intend this or not, ignorance always makes us complicit with the actions of oppressors. Ignorance can be a state of meaning well, yet blindly allowing (or contributing to) erasing, ostracizing, disadvantaging and harming those that we do not know enough about. Yet this kind of learned inaction, and its stark similarities to friendliness, is so vastly different from the Whitworth that I have come to know and love.

Whitworth values holistic growth, where we learn new things and then act on what we know. The university that I have chosen to attend is one with a ravenous desire to understand, and to be part of the transformation that knowledge inevitably brings to the world. It believes that education and the process of learning drives us to "honor God, follow Christ, and serve humanity." What makes us Whitworthians is that we want to learn, be changed, and make change. We want to be more than friendly because only love can create the change we yearn for. So why, then, do our actions not match our convictions? Why do we consistently settle for mere friendliness?

We tend to associate ignorance with maliciousness when, in reality, it is the simple lack of curiosity. Do we care enough about our fellow students, fellow Americans, and fellow humans to want to know what they experience? Do we seek out stories; do we listen with humility, knowing we may be complicit in the cause of their hurt, to understand their unique experience and what they need from us; and do we seek justice and well-being for them, even if it means changing our ways? A basic belief in the inherent value of all people is eventually reflected in actions when we care enough to be curious. Right and wrong are only apparent when we love others: when we value people enough to learn about them, the rest will follow.

What is the point of opinions if they don't start and end with compassion and a desire for others' well-being? The preach-and-dash, whoever-disagrees-with-me-is-evil approach to having and acting on opinions isn't working because it divides where love unites. Our world needs people who engage in relationship, who long for authenticity, and whose worldviews are colored by reckless, loving curiosity. We each experience the world differently, and as long we remain apathetic toward comprehending the experiences and needs of others we will be nothing more than friendly. Ignorance is fragmenting what was created for oneness. Our world needs love. Our world needs Whitworthians.

An education of mind and heart was never just about school. Whitworth's motto is an explanation of how to lead a lifestyle characterized by love. Love pursues what is good for others; how is that possible if we do not learn what they need? Love, like education, means questions asked, ears opened, perspectives changed and action taken. Being a Whitworthian means living with love.

Instead of recoiling from cries of "Black Lives Matter," "All Lives Matter," and "Blue Lives Matter," let us proceed with humility and ask questions. Instead of recoiling from cries of "excessive diversity programming" or "insufficient understanding of diversity," let us proceed with humility and ask questions. Together we can piece together the truth that only unity can provide.

As Whitworthians, friendliness isn't who we are. This school, this nation and this planet are longing for the healing, unifying love that we are so able to give.

What can compassion, curiosity and relationship look like on our campus and in our world?