Today we mourn the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, two more innocent black lives taken by police. About a year ago, we did the same for Freddie Gray, a black man murdered by police right in my hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. Of course, I can't say that he was "murdered," seeing that no arrests were actually made in his case. He just HAPPENED to end up dead in the back of a police van, I guess.

I wish that I could say that these are just freak incidents, but they're not. According to The Huffington Post, 136 black people were killed by police in 2016 so far. Something is deeply, deeply wrong here.

But this problem doesn't affect me, at least not really. As a Baltimore girl, Freddie Gray's death certainly put a damper on my summer though. All those pesky riots and even a curfew! How was I supposed to enjoy a night out on the town? That was ALMOST as bad as having a loved one forcibly taken by the people who were sworn to protect him. Definitely comparable to the fear of sending a child out one morning and never seeing them again, just because they looked at someone funny, and happened to have the wrong color of skin.

The scary thing is I did actually see posts like this from a few of my hometown "friends" on Facebook. Like our lives were so important that they could not POSSIBLY be interrupted by the "animals" ( I cringed a little bit typing this) expressing their anger and fear through protests and riots. Yes, I know they caused some destruction of property, but that's kind of the point here ( just to be absolutely clear, this type of protest is completely and fundamentally different than senselessly murdering cops who are just doing their job). My privilege, and the privilege of all my fellow white Baltimorians, is that I have no idea what it's like to fear for my life on a daily basis, and to completely lose trust in the one group that is supposed to protect me. I've never been so angry and terrified, not only for myself but also for my family, that I felt like the only choice I had was to destroy whatever I could find. I've never been through something like that, so who the hell am I to say that I would have reacted any differently?

Essentially, my Facebook friends and I were privileged enough to make judgements on the rioters from the comfort of our homes, never in a million years understanding what they were going through.

That was a year ago, yet nothing has really changed. Just a few weeks ago, Freddie Gray received no justice. Innocent black lives are still being taken today. All the while, my whiteness allows me the luxury of still feeling protected, no matter how distrusting I may be of police. See the thing is, if I were ever to be in a truly dangerous situation, I would run to the nearest police station without a second thought, and I've never known life to be any different than this. As a white person, I'm able to make the distinction that the vast majority of cops aren't murderers ( which is true) because even if he or she was a murderer, they would most likely not murder me. But the black people in my town clearly don't have that same guarantee of safety that I do, which raises the question: who do they run to when they feel afraid?

There's definitely no easy solution to the far reaching problem of institutional racism, but one tiny step all white people can take is recognizing and understanding their own privilege. This will not immediately solve anything, but nothing can be solved until it is done. It's time to stop all of this "all lives matter" nonsense and recognize that the importance of white lives has never been called into question. Scream it from the rooftops, "Black Lives Matter!", because apparently not everyone has heard it. Remember that, yes, we are all human beings, but some of our humanity has been questioned more than others'. Recognize your privilege and understand that it's a problem. Stop making excuses. It's the only way we'll ever see true justice.