As humans, we hold individual beliefs and I don't speak for everyone with this article but what I am about to say is valid. At this point, it is exhausting for me, as a woman of color, to speak on this issue because it still persists in today's society by those who choose to remain ignorant or simply doesn't care.
"But I have black friends."
Your usage of the word is not based on how many black people you know, nor does it have anything to do with how much you admire black culture. Unless you're black, it's a no from me.
"It's just the lyrics of a song?"
Skip over it. If I can manage to pause for a beat for the sake of not offending anyone, you can do it, too.
"Black people use it all the time."
Black communities have reclaimed the word and use it as a form of endearment but simply because they do so does not automatically grant you permission. Odds are you're in a position of more privilege and opportunity than African Americans have ever possessed because of the systemic oppression that has plagued and continues to plague society.
Reclaiming it is counter-productive.
Some might suggest that the idea of reclamation is ironic. Why retrieve something if it only stirs up trouble and brings up bad history? If you want something to not be used against you, why not make it go away?
Because we can't ignore it completely. Racism is rooted in this word and it was meant as a derogatory term for the sole purpose dehumanization — there's no ignoring this. We cannot deny the foundation of this country, a place that developed because of slavery and violence.
It happened.
"White privilege isn't real."
But it is. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You have most likely never recognized the benefits of being white since it is all you've ever known.
Let me ask you this: how many times have you felt out of place because of the color of your skin? Never, and you shouldn't be ashamed of your skin color, but people of color don't have this luxury.
Black people constantly fear being confronted by police officers over trivial or even nonexistent matters because countless lives have been wrongfully ended.
Travyon Martin, Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Mike Brown, Alton Sterling — just to name a few. They were criminalized for their skin and this prejudice ended in a trend of senseless murder and injustice. How often does this happen to the white members of our community?
I'm sorry if this offends you (which it shouldn't) but white people don't experience that. The least you could do is respect the black community and refrain from using the n-word.