If you are a biracial or black woman with gorgeous curls (yes, queens!!!), I would bet that at least five times in your life someone has asked if they could touch your hair.
If you are not a biracial or black woman with gorgeous curls, I want you to be able to relate to this as well. Imagine if someone asked to pet you in public without even thinking twice about asking? Do you see why it's weird? You wouldn't just ask anyone if you could pet them in public, so why do you think it's okay to ask women with natural hair to touch it?
Women who wear their hair natural do not want strangers running their fingers through their hair, breaking up the curls often, and making them feel as if what is natural for them is some exotic animal that they have never seen before. I'm a firm believer in if it doesn't feel right, it isn't right. I can tell you after countless times of "can I touch your hair" comments, I know that someone asking to touch my hair isn't right.
It's not right to make someone feel as if you are asking to pet them.
Even more so, it isn't so much as someone admiring or asking to see your hair, it's the comments that follow it. It's the "Your hair is like white people hair," "Wow, I am surprised it is soft, " "I want to have mixed babies so they can have hair like this," and all of the other comments that are similar to these. All of those are comments I have gotten on my hair and all of those are comments I still continue to get.
Whether you mean it or not, because often times these comments come from friends, they sometimes come out as hurtful and racist.
People asking about the products I use in my hair and complimenting it doesn't bother me at all! Everyone wants to feel good about their natural hair. It's the sheer confusion and racial comments about my hair that people make about what they refer to as "black people hair" that really gets under my skin.
So no, you cannot touch my hair. I'm not an animal, so you can't pet me.
And most importantly, I love my natural hair and don't want your oily fingers in it. Tell all the natural curls in your life that you love their hair, but don't overstep by making derogatory comments about their curls. Be kind and clear in your intentions.
