When I was little, I used to lay down and daydream about what my life would be like as an adult. Would I be successful? Would I have a family? Would I be happy?
At times, these thoughts would consume my mind. As a teenager, roaming the halls of middle school would often accompany thoughts of anxiousness or stress as I thought to myself "I wish I could just be an adult already!" to avoid whatever issues that seemed important at the time. When you really think about it, I would have traded years of my life away to avoid a math test or a lecture from my parents. Sounds silly, doesn't it?
My high school years were vastly different from an average student's experience, but my ninth and tenth-grade years were fairly normal. Those years, I would ride the bus to school every morning and stare out the window at other vehicles and the early morning joggers. The hustle and bustle of rush-hour traffic appeared to be far more fun and interesting than the lull of the school bus and the screaming of other children playing and messing around. Every once in a while, I'd spot an old friend that had recently graduated climbing into their vehicle for their morning commute. How independent they were, how successful they must be! I longed for the days that I would have my own schedule and could make my own decisions. If only these next few years could just hurry up and end so that I could begin my life already!
And then it happened. I grew up. I became an adult and I was in complete control of my life, just like I always wanted! I have two cars, two children, a husband, a home and a fantastic job - just like in my past daydreams. But among those, I was also introduced to debt. Student loans, bills, credit cards, taxes, rent...those lovely items that were somehow forgotten in my fantasy world. I didn't have to ask to be excused to use the restroom anymore, but I became responsible for two little humans that follow me everywhere and depend on me for everything. My high school math tests were replaced with late night study sessions as I cram for my exams in an attempt to earn a college degree as a full-time working mother and wife. I could no longer be grounded, but oh, some days I wish I could be! My adult life is in full swing, and I just can't figure out how time went by so quickly.
Instead of savoring the moment in middle school, I wished I was already living life out on my own. Instead of enjoying the relaxing bus ride to a pretty laid back day of high school, I was wishing I was on my way to work. I don't remember anything about the stress of math tests or homework that I was given. My parents lectures were meaningful but short-lived, and whatever problems I had then have since been resolved and forgotten. I spent so much time and energy focusing on what my life could be like, I forgot to enjoy my life for what it was at the present time!
This morning, as I dropped my daughter off at daycare, she saw her shadow on the ground right before we entered the building. "Come here, mom!" she said as she was laughing and pointing at the pavement. Her shadow was tall, and she was so excited. "I look like a high school girl mom! Don't you wish I was a high school girl?" she asked, grabbing my hand and looked up at me as we walked into her classroom.
"No baby, I like you just the way you are right now" I told her. "Someday you'll be a mommy and you'll understand." I will never forget that conversation.
My biggest advice? Slow down, enjoy life, and don't wish your life away thinking about the days ahead. Live in the present and be grateful for every moment. I promise, you won't regret it. In the words of Oscar Martinez:
