This list is essentially going to be your guide to the fraternities at Florida State University. Where you pregame is crucial to where you spend the rest of your leisure time/partying because you have got everyone here that matters.
*Disclaimer the following are quotes from the "Means Girls" movie so please don't take offense.*
1. Pi Kappa Alpha (PKA): Regina George.
Pikes are better known as the "greeks gods" or "the rulers of heritage grove" around FSU. Some people say that have been personally victimized by pikes. Some say evil has taken form by them, however, others say that they are models in Japan. The frat gods of campus are the true "queen bees" who always look fierce.
2. Phi Kappa Tau (ΦΚΤ): Shane Oman.
Brothers, hide yo girls because Phi Taus are the Shane Oman's of the Mean Girls World. They may not always be the most in-your-face frat boys but they are always around and know how things go down, especially when it comes to hosting tailgates for all those groupie girls waiting to show face.
3. Phi Sigma Kappa (ΦΣΚ): Gretchen Wieners.
The rich frat boys who know everything. It's no secret that you know everyone's business which is probably why you have to wear your hats on top of your heads since your hair is so full of secrets.
4. Delta Tau Delta (ΔΤΔ): Cady Heron.
The Kings of Copeland are relatable to none other than Cady Heron. Some might think you have moved to campus from Africa after your Recon party, but you're not fooling anyone when you try to be studious during the weeks that count. However, we know that you can easily form into cold-hard plastic material when it comes to the times you need to be better than the queen bee.
5. Phi Delta Theta (ΦΔΘ): Aaron Samuels.
Their hair looks sexy pushed back as all the girls say. The typical jock type that think they're good at math but are actually pretty bad at it. These boys seem to always be "off-limits" if you were to follow the rules of feminism, but never overestimate the cute boy from calculus to surprise when you when you least expect it.
6. Pi Kappa Phi (ΠΚΦ): Kevin Gnapoor.
6. Alpha Tau Omega (ΑΤΩ): Jason.
Just like our favorite skeez, Jason, our ATO boys never fail to ask you those uncomfortable questions at a party to see if you're worth their time or not. Ladies you can always count on them to give you a whistle or two while walking down the street past their house while they're rooftop chilling.
7. Kappa Sigma (ΚΣ): Karen Smith.
Oh my god Kappa Sig you can't just say things cause you are so close to Potbelly's. We all know you are not the dumbest people we will ever meet (at least not quite). At least you guys have a lot of things you are good at that help to express yourselves, like having a fifth sense and being able to tell when it's already raining!
8. Chi Phi (ΧΦ): Damian Leigh.
The stars on the rise of the tier system, don't sleep on them. Some may say they are too gay to function but let's be real--it's only okay for Chi Phi brothers to say that about each other, and yet they always seem to out-gay themselves as the weeks go on.
9. Theta Chi (ΘΧ): Glen Coco.
Not much to be said about these gents of campus. They're the type to always get candy grams before their big Christmas in July party instead of giving them out to their lucky ladies. All I have to say way to go Theta Chi! You go theta Chi!
10. Kappa Alpha Order (KA): Coach Carr.
The southern gentlemen. The ones you can always count on. The house that always builds a fort. These guys will look after you even if you're caught in the middle of a fight or if a fort ends up falling on you but no worries you always provide the best protection.
11. Sigma Phi Epsilon (ΣΦΕ): Ms. Norbury.
Like Ms. Norbury, Sig Ep is the dependable frat you can rely on. They push you do be the best groupie you can be and they will never be mad just disappointed in you when you don't attend their functions. You can always rely on Sig Ep to crack the funny jokes and be the cool one of the group around the circle of math nerds.
12. Sigma Alpha Epsilon (ΣΑΕ): Mr. Duval.
SAE is definitely the frat you can count on to keep complimenting you pretty ladies until you are guaranteed to make another appearance at the next pregame. They are not always seen or heard but they definitely lurk around till they find you single and ready to mingle. They may get shut down but some might use their silly carpal tunnel syndrome as an excuse for striking out yet again.
I hope you use this guide to choose wisely where you spend your pregaming efforts at. This is depict where you have the most fun and who you have the best time with. Enjoy the rest of your years at Florida State University and keep it fetch!
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