As Christian believers we want to talk about the fun youth outings, uplifting retreats and good 'ol church mornings. What we don't really want to talk about is that sometimes we just don't feel like getting out of bed to face the world and all of its difficult problems because we feel as though we have enough to swallow on our own--we don't need anyone else to force feed us with their problems.
Hillary Scott's newest released song, Thy Will, sums it up pretty well.
"I know you're good
But this don't feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It's hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you're God
And I am not"
It's easy to claim that He is our Heavenly Father and talk to him when everything is going simple. But on the days where you feel defeated in every single aspect and it's just a domino effect of misfortunes, it's hard to remember that He holds us and He does hear us. He's not the type of guy who just mutes what we have to say.
Frequently we struggle when trying to grapple with our daily struggles, in other words when we don't feel up to sharing our fruits, we don't know how to use them without them turning rotten.
We contemplate every move as if playing a game that we just cannot understand the rules, before experiencing the defeat. He tries to teach us the lesson so let's just open our eyes and earnestly watch.
I find myself confused quite frequently at what exactly he's trying to reveal to me, and that's when you have to pray, pray and pray because you have to believe all the confusion is for a greater purpose.
You don't have to have it all figured out to know that he's a good father to us, just trust in His plan and eventually it'll unravel itself for you, in the right timing. Don't become bitter or discouraged if you can't figure it out like those crossword puzzles you use to do in 3rd grade; we need to be slow to talk and just spend time listening to what he's telling us. This is the God of the universe we are talking about, he doesn't make rash decisions, he makes marvelous plans.
So, breathe in and out, and communicate with him even though you may feel at the time that it's just a one way call. It'll work out, he will speak to you, you just have to ask yourself are you giving him every part of who are? Without full surrender there will be no space for the capacity that he's longing to fulfill you with.
On the bad days, the overwhelming nights, and the dreaded mornings let him be your peace, sit in his love for you because he's always good even if life doesn't feel good, right now.