With the competitive nature of our society, it seems like people are always stressing out over not doing what they think they should do or over not being where other people are. I saw this clearly for the first time when I was a senior in high school and everyone was worrying about college acceptances, rejections, and decisions, and I thought that’s where it would end. But I was wrong. People are always worrying about being something or someone they think they should be at this point in their lives. I’m currently seeing it in my siblings who are worrying about what high school classes they need to take in order to graduate. They’re freshman. They don’t need to worry about this at all. They’re early on in their high school careers, but they also have an awesome guidance counselor whose job is to help them academically. If you’re someone who is always worrying about where you are and comparing it to where everyone else is, here is my advice to you:
You will end up where you are meant to be.
I promise that this is true. Everyone is on his or her own path, but we will all get to where we are supposed to be in the end. For some of us, it takes longer to reach our desired destination, but that’s okay. That is what was meant to happen for you. There’s no need to stress about it.
Seniors in high school are always worried about getting into their top schools. I understand this worry because I had it, too. I didn’t think my SAT scores were good enough to get into TCNJ, and I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. I got lucky because I did get into TCNJ, but other people I knew were not. I knew of plenty of people in high school who got rejected from their top choice colleges. They were understandably upset about it, but my advice was always the same: you will end up where you are meant to be. And they did. They all committed to colleges that they love now. They know that they’re where they’re meant to be; it just took a little heartbreak to get them there.
So, high school seniors, you’re going to be okay. You’re going to end up at the school you’re meant to be in with the degree you’re meant to have. I promise it will be okay.
Similarly, a lot of college students are constantly worried about graduating “on time,” meaning in four years. But why does there have to be a time limit? Why do you “have to” graduate in four years with your Bachelor’s Degree? The answer is simple: you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with taking a little extra time to graduate. I know plenty of people who took more than four years to graduate from college, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not a race. It’s not a contest. It’s a journey. It’s a path everyone is taking at his or her own pace. Yes, I am probably going to graduate in four years, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t stick up for people who didn’t or aren’t. Not everyone has the same situation. Plenty of people go to community college before going to a four-year college so they can save money, and along the way, they might have to retake a course, which makes them spend more than four years in college. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they have the degree at the end of the journey and they had fun while getting it. Isn’t that what college is about?
So, fellow college students, whether it takes you four years or seven years, you will end up where you’re supposed to be. You will get your degree. You will find a job. It’s going to be totally fine. It’s not a race. You’re doing it the way you’re meant to, and no one should judge you for that. So stay strong because you’re doing it your way.
I had to remind myself of my own advice when I was going through some hard times last year. I didn’t feel like I was having the same college experience as everyone else, and I had to remind myself that it would happen for me when it was supposed to happen. It still hasn’t happened entirely the way I would like, but I know that it’s a work in progress and that things will fall into place exactly the way they are meant to when the time is right. It’s frustrating that it’s not happening right now, but I’m sure it will be worth the wait.
I want to talk a little bit about relationships, too. I have frequently heard people say that they “should be” ready for a relationship by now or that they’re “supposed to” have been in one already. Why? Who said you have to be in a relationship at any time in your life? There’s no reason you need to put a number on when you’re ready to do something. When you’re ready, you’ll be ready. You can’t rush everything, especially relationships. Just because you’re 21 years old does not mean you have to be ready for a relationship. Everyone is different. Everyone is ready for things at different times. So what if you’re 21 and have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend? You’ll be in a relationship when you’re meant to be. And you will end up where you’re supposed to be whether it’s with that person or someone else. Things. Take. Time. So relax. You’ll get there.
I find it helpful to repeat my advice to myself when it seems like things aren’t going the way I want them to or the way I think they should. You will end up where you’re meant to be. I’m sure you’ll look back on your life when you’re 82 years old and you’ll laugh at how much you worried about what college you were getting into, how long it took you to graduate, getting a job, and finding the person you’re going to spend your life with. It will happen. And it will happen the way that it is supposed to happen. I promise.
