Is it just now hitting you that LDOC is upon us? Are you only just now realizing that LDOC means the impending doom of finals season? Don't worry, Tar Heels, there is a way out.
I have taken it upon myself to scope out campus and find the absolute best, most indiscernible locations on campus. It's like a big game of hide-and-seek — except finals season will never, ever find you!
1. By the Old Well.
Alexis Byrd
I mean, the Old Well owes you since you went there on FDOC and still don't have a 4.0.
2. Behind a column somewhere.
Alexis Byrd
On this campus, there are plenty to choose from. Go crazy!
3. Behind one of those really thin trees between Memorial and Phillips.
Alexis Byrd
Believe me, you'll be totally invisible. Completely camouflaged.
4. In the stacks.
Alexis Byrd
Davis 8th floor. Trust me, finals would never dare interrupt such an intense study location.
5. That one fountain.
Alexis Byrd
You know the one. Your finals will presumably be administered via paper or laptop, and you know what both of those are afraid of? Water.
6. Behind the ~spider~.
Alexis Byrd
Finals season probably has arachnophobia. I mean, don't we all? Thanks for bringing such a fearsome protector to campus, Carol.
7. Those benches near Steele.
Alexis Byrd
You don't even have to crouch or hide here. It is a peaceful, safe place. Finals wouldn't dare.
8. Some staircase in Wilson.
Alexis Byrd
You know, just any of them. I'm intimidated by Wilson, so maybe finals will be, too.
9. Behind those eye seats or whatever.
Alexis Byrd
That way finals can't see you, haha. Ha.
10. Behind a recycling bin.
Alexis Byrd
Avoid academic responsibilities and promote recycling at the same time. Win-win.
11. In your lofted bed.
Alexis Byrd
There's no better way to escape all your other obligations than to curl up and sleep. It's what you'd do any other day, right? Plus, finals can't get you as long as your feet are under the blanket. That's how it works.
But really, though—good luck, fellow kids. Don't forget to bring an extra scantron or blue book, and for the love of all things UNC, bring your OneCard (just in case).
Just think—it's finals season now, but soon it'll be *whispers in "High School Musical"* summer, summer, summer.