Media glamorizes the life of an out-of-state college student returning home, but I can assure you that the reality is nothing like the movies. Throughout high school, I had lots of friends and was determined to keep in touch with all of them even though I would be in a completely different state for college. This was, however, far from what really happened.

At the beginning, I felt really lonely. It was strange to see how everyone I grew up with were continuing to grow without me. More than once, I felt that I should have just stayed in state and should have never left.

Later, I began to feel more and more at home in my university with all my new friends and for once, I felt a true sense of belonging that I hadn't felt in high school. I loved it at my university and honestly couldn't and didn't want to imagine being anywhere else.

The first time I came home felt more like an out-of-body experience than anything. I stayed at home and tried to find work to keep myself busy. Initially, I planned on meeting up with a whole bunch of my friends from home, but when the time actually rolled around... I just didn't feel like it. I did hang out with my best friend, but other than that, I stayed at home and just prepared myself for the next semester. I didn't feel the same connection I had felt with my friends as I did in high school, and after months of minimal conversation, I had basically lost all my interest in reconnecting.

For a while, I felt really guilty about this. However, I realized that I had no part in the blame I was assigning to myself. It was not my fault for not wanting to feel any more of the superficiality I had felt in the small talk we had shared through texts and calls when I was in college. I had kept in contact with the one friend who had also went out of her way to talk to me even though were were separated by hundreds of miles and spent time with her when I was back at home. Because we had continued to talk almost every day I was gone, I had felt only pure genuineness from her. The rest of the time, I had devoted myself to academic progression, self-care, and family.

As bland and unglamorous as my summer may sound to many people, I became extremely satisfied with my quiet breaks. It serves as a time for me to collect my thoughts, create art, take care of myself, and spend time with the people who matter the most to me. So, unlike the movies, I don't return home from my out-of-state college as a envied, glamorous star far ahead of the people in her small town. I come back as a better version of myself with my priorities a little more clearer and my life a little more together.