I am stupid.

The word stupid and I have become well acquainted with each other. I've been called stupid countless times. Whether it was because I'm blonde, a girl, or I'm not as smart as others. All I know is my weaknesses defined me as stupid.

I was stupid because I couldn't understand the concept of math. I was stupid because sometimes words on the pages of books didn't make sense to me. I was stupid because politics confused me. All of these profoundly confusing topics made my head spin, but me even having a question made me smaller than the others. I worked tirelessly in school to keep my grades up, but for some reason people didn't want to recognize the efforts and strives to get better I was making, but instead they pointed out my flaws.

In high school, I was a fairly average student, but excelled in English, Literature, Drama, and artistic classes. What I began to discover though, was this time around, I wasn't being ridiculed because I wasn't as smart, it was me being a woman that made me less smart. I specifically remember being called a "stupid woman" and my ideas in our group project were too unrealistic. I can handle being told that my ideas won't work sometimes, but because I was a woman? That seemed absolutely insane to me.

I wish I wasn't so unbelievably insecure in high school because I would've stood up for myself, but at the time, I don't think I realized how offensive that was. I was stupid because I was emotional. I was stupid because I had panic attacks. I was stupid because I should just let people walk all over me and put up with it. Anything and everything I said and did made me feel stupid and I barely had one nice thing to say about myself, and sometimes it's still hard for me to do.

But, I know now since being in college, I am not.

I am smart because I am extremely empathetic. I am smart because I am insightful towards people and when I learn new things. I am smart because I am curious and I ask questions. I am smart because I don't let people make me feel inferior because of my gender.

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, but our weaknesses do not make us stupid. They make us human.

I am not stupid.