You can't choose your family, and growing up as the youngest child of four gave me some interesting perspectives on my siblings. I had the unique experience of witnessing them make all their mistakes and learning from some of them so I didn't make the same ones when my turn came along. My mom always said that I was the wisest of the four kids because of this. Now that we are all grown up, I want to touch on how my views of them changed as we each blossomed into our own people.
My Big Sister and the Oldest of the 4 of us:
My sister, Jennifer, was my idol growing up. We are 8 years apart and I wanted to be her. We never fought and she was always the one to protect me from my brother when he tried to pick on me. I was told that when mom and dad got a babysitter for us kids, I would sit in her lap all night and not move. She adored me, too. I was her little doll. She would dress me up and curl my hair so that I looked like Shirley Temple, and I loved every minute of it.
When she went off to college it was hard for me because my idol moved away. But she was figuring out who she was and growing up. As I got a little older and we started to fit into the same clothes, she would always steal mine and we started fighting more. I was in my teenage years and I would get annoyed when she would start to parent me. She was supposed to be my sister, not another mom!
Then I went off to college and started becoming more of my adult self, and even though we don't always talk on a regular basis, my sister is now one of my best friends. I can tell her anything and she will just listen and offer advice, and instead of feeling like she's trying to parent me, I feel like it's coming from a friend. We still don't always agree on everything, but who does? I wouldn't change her for anything and I know we will always have each other's backs.
My Eldest Brother and the Second Oldest of the 4 of us:
My oldest brother, Jonathan, was also my protector from when my other brother picked on me. We are 5 years apart in age. I remember how caring he always was towards me. When I couldn't sleep he would massage my forehead and describe to me in extensive detail, the Harry Potter books. He would just talk and tell me the stories until I fell asleep. He is someone I always looked up to.
When he went off to college, I was going into 8th grade and I was very absorbed in my own life and my own friends. But I always got so excited every time he would come home! That's my big brother and I was so proud! If anyone would ask who my favorite person in the world was, it's Jonathan. Not that I love my other siblings any less but for some reason, may it be that we never really ever fought with each other, he's just always been my favorite person in the world.
When I was going through confirmation, I asked him to be my sponsor because he has such a firm faith that really hits you. It's the kind that most people strive for. The kind where you can tell how confident he is with himself and his beliefs and he just emulates strength of character. I admire him so much for that.
Now he has gone to medical school and is onto his clinicals, where he will be moving to England with his wife and two cats. I am so incredibly proud of him and still look up to him so much. He went from being my protector to my hero and also to one of my best friends.
My Big Brother and the Third Oldest of the 4 of us:
Joseph was the brother and sibling closest in age to me and we fought A LOT! There is video evidence of him cornering me under a chair and throwing my own shoes at me when I was two years old and defenseless. I also realize that my dad sat there and just filmed it happening.
Joseph and I fought so often, and his friends would always pick on me and my friends, too. I never hated him, because you're not supposed to hate your family, but we just did not get along and I could never figure out why we clashed so much.
My relationship with Joseph was love/hate, in a way, because the days we actually did get along, he always told me all the secrets he kept from mom and dad (and no I'm still not telling). It made me feel special that he trusted me that way.
Then he went off to college and I was left as the last kid in the house. Imagine my surprise when I missed him more than I ever thought I could. The house was lonely without him there to argue with mom and dad for no reason other than just to argue. I remember going to his fraternity house one Sunday to visit him and Jonathan, and it was one of the best days a little sister could've asked for.
Then Joseph moved home for the summer and all of a sudden we started fighting again. I guess we are better friends when we don't live together. But I see something in him that I see in myself. He never lets someone be treated poorly and he cares very deeply for all life. He is so strong and has been through so much in his life, and I don't know if he realizes that I look up to him, too. And yes, you guessed it, I consider him one of my best friends, too, even though we do still fight every once in a while.
When I was younger, I never believed my mom when she told me that some day when we were all grown, my siblings and I would all be friends with each other. We are each so different, so I couldn't fathom us all being friends. I am so glad I was wrong, because I got stuck with some pretty great friends, and some even better siblings.