The last 18 years of your life, you’ve probably been stuck at home with your parents. You see them every day, and as much as you love them, you can’t wait to get rid of them. The end of the tunnel you call high school is coming to an end and you can see the light, college. You can see yourself already, living on your own and making poor decisions just like almost everybody in college does. Although, when you almost have one foot out the door, ready to experience some sort of independence, your parents pull you right back in. They aren’t ready to pull the plug on you; they still want you as close by as they can.
Your world feels like it just ended. You can’t dorm. Sometimes your parents can’t financially support you moving out, but other times it’s your mom not wanting to let go of her baby.
As fall rolls around you see your friends going shopping for mini fridges, and Old Navy flip flops for their communal shower. You can’t help but feel sad because all you have in your room as decoration is a dead lei they gave you at graduation.
School starts, and as you make friends you have to explain you don’t live at one of the freshmen dormitories. You're part of that commuter life, so instead of going to your dorm after class, you get to hang out at the student center all by yourself. As you see yourself through the reflection of your computer screen, when Netflix is asking if you want to watch one more episode, you can’t help but smile because at least you’re not home. Just as you click another episode, your phone starts to ring. It’s your mom asking if you’ve ate, how your classes are going and if you’ve made any friends. Your insides warm up because you remember how cute your mom is, and how she cares about you.
But eventually those calls start to happen every hour, and your mom questions you every time you don’t answer or call her first.
You start to believe your parents might just be obsessed with you.
Time goes by, and you get the hang of college. Your friends who live on campus start to miss home, and are getting tired of the dorm food and your heart warms up a little bit at their pain. Even though you didn’t get to experience full freedom, you still get to eat your mom’s cooking and you’re with family. Commuting begins to not seem so bad, and the year starts to end.
First year ends, and you can swear your parents will let you move out this time. You’re about to be 19 so that means you’ve matured since you’ve been 18, at least you think, but in your parents’ eyes you’re still their princess in a castle, and they are the castle that protects you. Again, the school year starts and the cycle begins. Commuting is now part of your identity, but at least you know now where the best nap spot is or where the best bathroom to do your business is at. You begin to see new commuters, and pick up on their struggles. You help them with things you know you struggled with, and you know have a commuter pact with them.
Although it’s nice to know there are others commuting as well, you can’t help but to feel secluded from the rest of your campus. Organizations and events take place at times when you’re on your way back home. Once lonely students are now part of groups of friends that have formed from bonds they had while dorming.
Sure, you have you own friends, but you can’t help to think the friendship could be stronger if you could live with them. As your 2nd year starts to finish you know it is time. This next year you have to dorm.
You fill out the application, and wait. You finally get a notification; you’ve got a spot. You sign the lease, and you see it once again, the light of freedom. The only problem? Your parents don’t know.
Although you’re scared they are going to say no; you’re scared they might get mad at you and stop talking to you for a while; you know this is the best for you. You know that these last two years in college are the last years where independence and carelessness can go hand-in-hand. You know you have it in you to be able to live on your own, to make the right decisions. This next year in college will test everything your parents have ever taught you. You only want to make them happy, but you know that comes at a cost, and that is you. The only thing to do at this point is to reach out and pull the plug yourself.
