So, today I was walking, actually running, to catch up to my friend and my phone decided it didn't want to be in my pocket anymore, and silly me didn't put a case on it! It goes without saying that given my speed, height, and clumsiness, my poor cell phone did not survive the fall and shattered on impact. Even though I spend at least $20 on what I thought was "shatter-proof glass," it went right through and cracked the actual glass of my phone.
I picked it up and didn't overreact or freak out... until I saw my dad that is. I ran up to him, held it up, and said "look what I just did! If this isn't the metaphor of my life then I don't know what is." All he could say to me was how overdramatic I am, but this was basically the icing on the cake of what has been going wrong in my life lately.
I feel the need to write about this because my stupid cracked iPhone is literally the metaphor of my life! Do you know why? Well, I shall tell you; lately, things really haven't been going right and my life isn't really turning out the way I've planned. That's part of the problem, though; we think we can plan the way our life is going to be, but if we try to then all of our elaborate plans get totally shifted and twisted and then we end up living a life we never thought we'd live.
At one point I got my new phone and was amazed by how pretty it was and then I got all these cases for it and stickers with glitter and could hardly wait to sync all my data on it blah blah blah... but one of the first things I did was buy my "shatter-proof glass" out of fear that one day my beautiful phone would crack. Well, that day has come! And maybe that day was inevitable! I had a feeling it would happen, which is why I spent money on the screen protector in the first place.
This is what I realized today: my phone is my heart. When I was young I was so ambitious and couldn't wait to go out and live my life without a shield. As I grew up, though, I started realizing that there are going to be so many people in the world that are going to hurt you like hell, even the ones that say they love you. So, I got a "shatter-proof glass" protector for my heart. But one day, someone came around and I literally sprinted just to be with them. With that, I fell so damn hard and had nobody waiting to catch me, that someone broke right through the glass, shattering my heart and breaking down the shield I worked so hard building (or spent a couple bucks on).
So, my phone can be fixed, but can my heart? I don't know that for sure... but what I do know for sure is that while it may cost me $100 to get my phone screen to be repaired, there's nobody in the world that I can pay to fix what's shattered inside of me.
Funny how I took such a minuscule event and made it something much bigger...
