Car: “It’s not you, it’s me."
Me: No, it’s actually me…you… your brakes… engine… transmission… catalytic converter...
Car: “Okay, but I really just need to work on myself.”
Me: All the car repair personnel in Columbus need to work on you too.
Car: “I think we should see other people.”
Me: Alright, you see the mechanic. I’ll see about getting a second job.
Car: “I just don’t feel the spark!”
Me: *under the hood* hey me neither.
Car: “Honestly, we’re just moving too fast.”
Me: Said you every time we hit the highway.
Car: “You really deserve better.”
Me: Point taken.
Me: *Reaches for wallet*
Me: Nevermind.
Me: