Growing up, it seems as though I was always looking to the future and wishing for it to hurry up and become the present. I did it in little ways and in larger ones. When I was in middle school, I wished to be in high school. When I was in high school, I wished I was in college. When I was 16, I wished I was turning 18. When it was Monday, I wished it was Friday. When it was the winter, I wished it was summer.
I can bet you have had moments like these too; moments where your current state seemed to be not good enough and you were just so eager for a future event to occur. The future looked full of promise and happiness, while the present seemed tedious and unfulfilling.
Sometimes, reaching that future you longed for was anticlimactic or not all you hoped it would be.
Over the course of my career in future-wishing, I found that even the best of future events gave me a “high” of happiness only for a brief amount of time. I had anticipated the event so much that the anticipation itself built up expectations that could not possible be realized. Once I reached the long-awaited event or moment, I would feel excited, but then I often found myself wishing I had enjoyed the other moments that got lost along the way.
In my high school biology class, I made a comment about how much I wanted to be in college already and how I could not wait for high school to be over. My teacher shook his head and said, “Do not wish your life away.” I kind of laughed and brushed it off. What did he know, right? My response was something along the lines of an exasperated,
“Yes, and youth is wasted on the young. I know!!!”
At that point in my life, his words were nothing but hollow words to me, but now they are something I’ve come to live by.
My life has changed in many ways over the past year; as lives often do for people my age. I’ve lost friends, gotten a new job, stopped dancing when dancing used to be my life, moved from an apartment to a house, and had the usual little hardships anyone faces in-between. While there have definitely been hardships, I am very fortunate and there have been plenty of moments I am extremely grateful to have had.
It's normal for people to wish for a hard time in their life to be over, but I’ve learned that you need to be present in whatever moment life gives you. Each and every moment in your life, good or bad, has something worthwhile in it and, if you let them, these moments will shape you in to the person that you are meant to be. Without experiencing the bad, there can be no appreciation of good.
When you wish your life away, you lose value that can be found in moments. Moments where someone smiles at you, moments where you catch the most beautiful sunset, moments where you make someone else’s day and feel better about your own. This is not to say that you can’t be excited for a future event. It’s one thing to have a date marked on your calendar that you say a silent “yes” about whenever you see it. It’s a whole different thing when you are just biding your time and moving in the present like you are in a fog because you are so focused on that event.
This summer I spent a lot of time taking spontaneous trips and doing things for myself. Of course, I had some things planned, but I have learned a whole new level of appreciation for time because I have been taking things day-by-day and rolling with whatever comes along. Enjoying the unexpected and really experiencing what is going on around me. I appreciate something as simple as a homemade meal or a day off where I don’t even have to get dressed.
So, don’t wish your life away. Live day-to day. Be present in the moment. Like many clichés, this one is true. Don’t believe me? Try it.
