You've found yourself falling for a girl that makes you happy, who makes you laugh and you can't possibly find anything about her that is a flaw - if anything, her imperfections are what make her so likable. You have the best conversations that usually go on for hours - from passions, all the way back to your favorite movie in the world. You can practically talk about anything, and you make each other laugh. However, this girl is wrapped up in her own fears. She's good at hiding it, but you can tell that beneath the surface, she is terrified of letting anyone else close to her in a way that would make you the happiest alive. You've heard it in her voice when she's talked about her past. She won't admit it, but she is afraid to be vulnerable, to take those chances even though she very much wants to. Letting someone back in terrifies her. But you can try to understand:
First of all, please be patient.
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You can't just expect her to snap out of something that has meant a lot to her. If you truly care about her, you will understand that some things take time, and she is taking time to understand herself, as she so desperately wants to take that leap of faith. Sometimes, people's emotions aren't just black and white, or logical. They can be an array of different colors, all blending into one another. It's beautiful, but it can get messy. She feels like she is wasting your time and that makes her feel terrible.
She has gone through things.
Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it's a big deal to her and going through this isn't easy. Her past is doing a good job coming back to haunt her present, and is trying to determine her future - even though, that is ultimately all in her power. However, it's simple to run away from things that were once familiar and comfortable, because people can be so easily afraid of getting hurt again. She's afraid of getting hurt again, so hiding is the safest route.
New love brings back old pain.
Those new feelings that she has towards you, are both exciting and terrifying. Feeling things for someone else is a reminder of what she used to feel with the person that broke her heart and basically destroyed her outlook on love and relationships.
Love isn't always equal.
Even though two people can love each other so much, there is always that part where someone is going to be the one who loves more - that person who puts in just a little bit extra than the other, the one who fights the most. Chances are, this girl was the one who fought a little bit harder than her ex significant other. She's afraid to put her heart on her sleeve because she's so used to trying harder and getting let down - and she's sick of it. She wants someone to also fight for her just as much.
She doesn't want to be like this forever
Believe it or not, she doesn't want to run away from falling in love. She feels trapped inside of herself, afraid she will end up alone just because her current feelings stemmed from her past cling so tightly to her, and are so strong. She so badly wants to shed those feelings of fear so she can move on with her life. She wants to fall in love. She is a romantic. She doesn't want to be this way, and she hates it.
I know that she shouldn't let this rule her, and she can't keep depending on the past as an excuse . . . but that's the thing - it's not an excuse, it's her reality. Shedding the past in order to become vulnerable again, isn't easy for some people who have been hurt multiple times. Other people can do it better, some, not so much. But that doesn't mean that they are not capable or are broken. Some of the most cooped up people who stash their hearts away, are some of the most romantic, and that's what is heart-breaking. Listen to her.
