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Health and Wellness

Looking Back On How I Used To Be

When the words that are said don't seem to be enough, I look back and see how far I've come.

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Looking Back On How I Used To Be
Lindsey R. Bischoff
"The difference between the almost-right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning." - Mark Twain

Until recently, when it came to speaking my mind, words did not come easy. I had the tendency of holding things in - no matter how deeply I felt. At times, I simply burst; however, the words that came forward were mediocre and did not convey my feelings well. Due to that, the outcome of every argument or discussion usually was against my favor. Sometimes, the other person would be made aware of my point, but my overall performance would be laughable and moreover - difficult to take seriously. Others told me that I spoke eloquently but as a perfectionist, I always found myself unhappy with my latest choice of wording - thinking I could do better. My way of speaking tended to never be up to par with my thoughts. I thought things through for the longest amount of time, but when it came to finally letting them out to be heard, my thoughts became jumbled and less powerful. Should there come a time where it was imperative to get my point across, I always worried that I would be stuck in the same figurative boat to nowhere.

To put it simply, I was wrong. Somehow - as if by miracle, my situation has made a complete 360. All I know is: I'm doing better than ever. My words come more easily, are normally taken seriously, and if they're not - I've been able to elaborate and stand up for myself. I can't credit it to one single thing. The solution to wordlessness wasn't something I went looking for. It's likely due to many factors that have occurred - including, but not limited to a change in environment, a new outlook on life, new friends, recent tragedies, etc... I can say for sure that these changes continue to help me along the path of bettering myself. I'm a work in progress, I most definitely have ways to go, and I am grateful to the fact that I've encountered so many situations - both good and bad. If not for change, it's unclear where I'd stand today. The world is seen in a new light, my conversations flow more clearly, and I'm rather happy with where I stand. In retrospect, I'm glad I went through so many failures, as they've paved the way for successes.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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