I don't party for a number of reasons. Let me preface this entire piece with a foreword; I do not care if you party, and it is not my goal to shame you if you do. Now that we have the "butthurt" demographic satiated let's get to it.

I do not party because, well, I just don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy any part of it, and I have way more fun sober compared to any level of drunk I have ever attempted to be. I was raised by stricter parents so the party scene was not glorified. I would rather stick to my studies, the gym, and my sport. I will leave the partying to those who enjoy it. However, I have compiled a few of the top sensations I have felt being a college kid who does not party. Perhaps this will help explain to those who are passionate about their debauchery what people who do not share the same priorities feel. Hey, maybe you even laugh a little and share this with your friends. Maybe you even "DM" me and call me a prude. All I am saying is...follow your heart.

1. It took me over 20 years to figure out what alcohol smelled like.

2. You never see the fights or drama at the parties. That also means you are worthless in conversation when your friends bring it up.

3. You have had to babysit one of your drunk friends at least once. You most likely questioned leaving them for dead because that would have just been easier.

4. You have undoubtedly tried drinking once to see if it was for you. Chances are that it went bad and you woke up with a head ache or something miserable.

5. Seeing a drunk person for the first time was like seeing the ocean for the first time...without the ocean... and the beauty...really it was sad to watch.

6. People assume you are down to be the DD. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe you want to stay at home and binge watch 30 Rock, okay...

7. You will undoubtedly be made fun of for not drinking.

8. You may be missing out on a lot of fun. However, you don't have to worry about any drunken shenanigans turning up on the internet when it comes time to apply for that job.