I know there are a lot of young people out there who have already lost a parent and it's hard. I have watched dear friends of mine suffer through the pain and agony of losing a parent too soon. I have heard them talk about what they would do differently or what they would tell them or where they would take them, if they just had one more day. But, what about those of us who have almost lost a parent and didn't?!?
I almost lost my dad. He had been sick with what we thought was a sinus infection for about two weeks when we finally made the trek to UAB Hospital to find out that the dreaded diagnosis was leukemia. Acute Myeloid Leukemia to be exact. We had taken him to the doctors in my little hometown only for them to send him home to die because they were not sure exactly what to do with a case like his. The doctors at UAB gave him two days to live. And as I write this, he is back home in Alabama, working. Four years later.
Everything changed for me in those long and grueling months to follow. I was a twenty-three-year-old, college Senior living the life of a fifty-some odd-year-old woman. Not only was I working a job of my own and finishing up my degree but I was back and forth to the hospital when my dad was there (an hour away, every other week for months) along with taking care of my mom's business, helping with my dad's church and keeping up the house and cars. I chose to pick up most of the slack because, I am the only child. There was no one else. I pushed my college graduation from December to May because in my mind, the adult thing to do was to lighten my class load and work my hiney off.
When you almost lose a parent, you appreciate them more.
A couple of months before my dad became ill, I went through a broken engagement. For whatever reason, I put a lot of the blame on my parents. My dad's battle with leukemia completely changed the way I felt not only about that situation but about EVERYTHING. It was a wake up call for me.
When you lose a parent, there are too many mood swings to count.
I experienced a lot of fear, emotions and moments of dread. Even though I believed in the healing power of the blood of Jesus, there were times when I envisioned what that phone call would be like. Where I would be or who would be with me to make sure I was okay. I even thought about what he would look like in his casket. Those were hard moments and I am so glad that those were rate occurrences for me. There were moments I would be happy and okay, laughing and cutting up with my friends but the next minute, I would be an emotional wreck. There were days I could not be still but other days, I physically could not get out of bed.
When you almost lose a parent, you have the opportunity to see what those marriage vows are all about.
My mom never left my dad's side. She was in the hospital just as many days as he was. I would drive down to the hospital on my days off - or a friend would drive me down - and it would be all I could do to get her to walk to get food with me. My mom showed me the true definition of “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health…” in one of the most grueling and challenging times of our lives.
When you almost lose a parent, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are more like celebratory birthdays.
My husband and I live north of Nashville, Tennessee. We are about three and a half hours from my parents but the distance means nothing for me. I make sure I am home or they are with me not only on their birthdays but Mother’s Day and Father’s Day too. They could be gone… but they’re not. And I want to make sure we celebrate that fact, every chance we get.
When you almost lose a parent, you cry every time you hear of someone losing theirs.
You want to say just the right thing to make it better but, there are no words that will ever do that. You know that, all you can do is pray for them. And the one thing you definitely do not do is talk about the time you almost lost your parent but didn’t.
When you almost lose a parent, you have been on the brink of losing all hope but... somehow... You didn’t.
You are able to look at those impossible situations and believe they are not as impossible as they seem because, you have seen a parent that was almost dead or should have been dead, survive. You have faith like you never had it before and you find yourself believing for the positive outcomes instead of the negative ones.
Maybe you have lost a parent and your friends have never experienced that. Just know, they wish they could say the right things. My husband’s mom passed when he was twelve-years-old. Mother’s Day is hard for us. The anniversary of her death and what would’ve been her birthday are also hard days. I never know what to say. I am simply, there for him. Let your friends know, it is okay to just be there and not say anything at all!!!
Whether you have lost a parent, almost lost a parent or have never experienced the pain, hurt, fear and trauma of either situation, I want to encourage you to believe for the positive throughout your life. Maybe you have been looking at a negative situation and you just need some positivity in your life. Remember that hopeless situations are God’s speciality!!! My dad was given two days to live and four years later, he is in remission and is going through life. His cancer doctor is still amazed over what happened!!!
I hope you let this little story encourage you. Honestly, it encourages me time and time again.
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With people [as far as it depends on them] it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26 (AMP)
