What are you supposed to do when the sound of silence is deafening—when the sound from within is louder than any noise you could ever actually hear? What do you do when the darkness is so bright, when the lights flashing behind your eyes distract you from the irrelevant darkness in which you are trying to hide? What are you supposed to do when you feel there is no relief from the pain?

Some days the pain is dull—almost non-existent, but then there are days when the pain is searing; almost paralyzing making even the smallest of tasks seem to be too much to bear. The worst part of it, for me, is that I have become used to it—I have become complacent. Those dull days, where the pain is almost non-existent are days I consider being headache free, which is incredibly depressing. Even more depressing, nothing seems to take this away. Nothing. I have taken over-the-counter medication; I have taken prescription headache medication and to no avail. I have tried meditation and changing my diet; sure, other aspects of my being improved but what does it matter if the persistent ache inside my head wont go away? After all that was the reason I made these lifestyle changes in the first place.

Wait. That is not true, there is something that takes these paralyzing headaches away but unfortunately the state of Texas does not recognize the one thing that gives me relief from this pain as a medication—Texas considers it a misdemeanor, with six-months jail time and a $2,000 fine. Christ, the federal government doesn’t consider it a medication.

Apparently the DEA is considering rescheduling cannabis from schedule I to schedule II but there has been a considerable amount of dirt kicking and feet dragging going on as they keep blowing past their self-imposed deadlines for a decision. Honestly though—and if anyone has read my other articles on the topic knows—cannabis should be de-scheduled like alcohol and tobacco, but schedule II is a good place to start. Schedule II would at least allow it to be researched.

You see, I have two theories as to why the DEA is dragging their feet. The first is that if they reschedule cannabis, they would essentially be admitting a truth that so many of us already know… The war on drugs has been a huge failure, a huge waste of money, and a giant waste of time. Nixon claimed that drugs are our number one enemy and his soldiers took aim straight at marijuana—arguably the least dangerous of any of the drugs on the list of scheduled narcotics but it is an easy target because so many people use it. Second, I have a sneaking suspicion that the DEA is so deep in big pharma’s pockets that they are afraid to legalize it for medical purposes because their funding would dry up. The last thing that big pharma wants is a medication that doctors can prescribe that actually helps resolve pain, stops seizures, reduce anxiety, and stop the headaches that I suffer from day after day.

You see, I don’t want to become a prescribed drug addict. Call it what you will, but that is not for me. Doctors have become drug dealers, and the pharmacy has become the middle man and for what? Nothing I have ever taken for my headaches has given me relief, only a brief sense of it at best. I go to the doctor and it is just another pill, just another useless pill.