I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm spent. I’m worn out. I'm so, so tired of my life not mattering to people. That my black life doesn't matter. It doesn't. At least not to those who are in power, and to those who are ignorant to the struggles of being a minority in this country. Whenever I get on Facebook or turn on the news it is only a matter of days before another unarmed black man is executed in cold blood. Executed. It's turning into a sport. A contest. Kill a black man and get paid leave.

It makes me sick every time I see it. Every time I have to see that another unarmed black man is killed. You can't even look me in the eyes and say that they deserve it, in no universe is death a fair punishment for any of the crimes that they would potentially be charged with. The whole "I was afraid for my life" argument doesn't even work, are you serious? Police officers get combat training to be able to handle potential threats specifically if the perp is larger or stronger to be able to handle any situation when they go for the gun. Pulling your gun and using it should be an absolute last resort and too many times these days it is the first resort.

If you even mention black on black crime, then you must care about the millions of innocent men, women, and children we as Americans have murdered in the Middle East, no? Then don't you dare even speak on black on black crime. Because every black person knows that black on black crime is a problem, but the thing is police officers are supposed to protect people and to uphold the law. To be pillars of the community not a whole bunch of high school bullies who peaked and are looking for a way to use their power once again. They should make us feel safe, not like we are criminals for having a little bit of melanin in our bodies. Our only real crime it seems these days is being black in America.

I'm tired of hearing the whole, "It doesn't affect you, you are light skin," or "You aren't really black" arguments. That my blackness is in question to other people. It is absolutely insane, how dare you tell me that? Police see my skin, the little extra melanin, they don't see us as "light skinned" or "dark skinned." We are all black in their eyes. I shouldn't have to be afraid of the police. Every single time I see them walk by I get uncomfortable; I shouldn't because I haven't done anything wrong, but the thing is, it doesn't matter. Whether or not I broke the law, I shouldn't have to be fearful of the police, their job is to arrest me if I break the law; they are not in charge of judging me, that is up to a court of law. Or did I miss the law passed granting them the ability to be judge, jury, and executioner? Because let's face it, we all know which they seem to favor. Even if we do everything right and do exactly what police officers say it can result in death. No matter what, it feels like every interaction with police is a minefield and any wrong move could end up being the end for us. No one deserves to feel like this. No one deserves to feel like this.

When will my life matter? When will my life matter? When will my black life matter?