Co-authored with Keri Sullivan.
If you've ever been to brunch on a Sunday morning, you've seen the aftermath of your fellow Skyhawks' questionable weekend decision. The omelet line is commonly littered with large ice waters, bruises and probably last night's make up. As this year comes to a close, we thought we would include some of the best stories we have heard regarding your fellow Skyhawks.
Run-ins with Campo:
"I told Campo not to go into a party because Campo was about to bust it."
"We were in the woods smoking and then a Campo car pulled up. We saw the headlights so we sprinted like all the way through the woods, ended up behind the fence around 17. Some of us lost shoes and fell and cut our stomachs because we were in crop tops. Turns out it was Domino’s, not Campo.”
“This one party was lit and people were dancing everywhere, but then Campo came or something. We panicked, so instead of walking out the door we just jumped out the window.”
Conversations we can all relate to:
"How was your night?" "'Well it's not called whiskey stick.'"
“Yep, my tongue was definitely down his throat.”
“I turned and looked at this kid who everyone thinks is gorgeous. Looked him dead in the eye and said 'Eh, not that hot.'”
"I was openly obsessed with my TA last year and was explaining my love for him, and telling my friend how hot he was. Then the music shut off and I heard someone laughing. Turned around to see my TA right there; he had heard everything."
"Viewed my one-night stand's Linked-In profile without knowing he would get a notification. Keep in mind we have no other form of communication."
“I saw this wicked hot kid from one of my classes at the Courts and he was wearing a toga, but then I saw the acne on his back so I turned to my roommate and said '#backne #relatable.' He heard.”
We've all struggled crossing the bridge by the Heights:
“Told a kid to break up with his girl friend because he was hot [then I] promptly fell in the river by Sheehan.”
"I had heels in one hand, my drink in the other, kid I was into right behind me. I was swept off my feet, but by the current. The kid turned around and went home."
"When there was still like six feet of snow on the ground, I felt invincible and tried to climb over the pile of snow that was covering the bridge. Needless to say I lost that battle."
Times we've been straight up Sky-cocked:
"I punched the door open in the Courts one time because my strategy of saying 'I know John' didn't work. I'm 5"2' on a good day."
"I found this poster and I thought it was a mozzarella stick stand, so I waited in line for about an hour."
“This guy was yelling at everyone who wasn't wearing a toga 'get the hell out' because it was a toga party. But I was wearing a white crop top and he was being mean so I stood right up, said 'eff you' and stayed to make a point. I was promptly and forcefully removed.”
"I wore my body suit from Saturday night to Back Bay at 1 p.m. on a Sunday."
"I was grinding on what I thought was a wicked hot guy, so I decided to drop it low. Turns out it was just the wall."
"So basically, I was holding a bottle in some party and some girl accidentally knocked into me. I started crying, ran to the bathroom to fix my make up and I didn't have a complete front tooth. Basically, just don't bring bottles to a Courts party."
"I was wearing a romper and those are so hard to get off. I had to pee and so I took it all off, and just peed naked on the side of Stanger."
If you can't relate to any of these stories or they simply aren't good enough for you, we hope this serves as inspiration for the last weekend of the 2015-2016 school year. God speed Skyhawks, make us proud and go out with a bang.
Disclaimer: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, therefore we take no responsibility for these stories. We also plead the fifth regarding to whom the stories belong.
