Can you feel it? I can’t, at least not anymore. I feel the distance between us. The fire is burning out, slowly. I keep trying to keep it going but it seems like you want it to die out.

10 years, you were my whole world. From the moment I met you, talked to you and kissed you, you became all I craved. Like heroine in my veins, I fed off you. I’d do anything to be with you.

My whole life I looked for somewhere or someone to call home. That’s exactly what I found in you. You felt safe, you felt familiar. I’ve seen myself in your eyes before. Maybe in some past distant life, but my soul knew yours the moment our eyes made contact.

But where has that feeling gone? Where have you gone? Where have I gone? I believe that when we grow out of our teenage mind sets, that’s when we find who we truly are. That means as humans we change. We are changing, we are finding out who we are meant to be.

I’m scared that who I was meant to be, and who you where meant to be aren’t going to be together in the end. But how can I let go of you, when you feel like home to me.

I feel our marriage dying, and I can’t do anything to stop it. I want you, I want us. Now till forever.

But I can’t stay with someone who I can’t trust. And you can’t stay with someone who’s as emotional as me. I don’t want to see us part ways, because after all we fought so hard for what we have now. For 10 years we fought. So why throw that all away?

I know why. I don’t want to say it, but maybe I should. I’m no good for you and your no good for me. You want more freedom and I want more love. We want two different things. You can lie to me and tell me different. But I know the truth. It’s written in your eyes.

Your scared to be alone. Your scared to see me happy with out you. But most of all your scared that if I walk away I won’t come back. Or if you leave me I’ll find someone new and I’ll be happy. He will love me the way I want to be loved.

And me? I’m scared to walk because I don’t want my child to feel what I felt. But I want her to know herself worth and be loved the correct way. Not the way I keep letting you love me. I’m scared that if either one of us walks away, I won’t come back.

But again how do you walk away from the one person who finally feels like home?

How do you walk away form the person who loved you when you couldn’t love yourself?

But like heroine in my veins, I still crave you. Your a drug I’ll never be able to let go of.

I turned your demons into mine. I loved you at your lowest and stood by yourside when you where at your highest. And still you push me down knowing I’ll get back up and follow you.

You can drag me through hell and I’ll still want to hold your hand.

You got me on my knees. Begging you to love me. And you asking me to change. But only way I can change is if you love me like I need you to.

Loving and fighting. Accusing denying. I can’t ima a world that you and I aren’t one.

The joy and the chaos . The demons we are made of. I’d be so lost if you left me alone. No matter how many time we say we are done, I hope it’s never real.

No matter how hard this gets, I still want you. I will always need you. And I hope you feel the same. There was once a time you loved my clingy ness . There was once a time where you were so kind and loving to me. You talked to me. You opened up to me.

I don’t know where you went but I want you back. I promised I would never give up on you or us. I can’t give up. I’ll be dammed if I let everyone prove us right. I love you now till forever. When the fire dies, so will I.

- your wife.