Here's another one of my unpopular opinions: breaking up is a good thing.

Now, you might be saying to yourself "But Helon, isn't the ultimate goal of every relationship to NOT break up?" And honestly, I agree. No one likes to end a relationship of any kind for that matter but sometimes there's just no way around it. Sometimes people stay in a relationship because they think it's the best they can do, or sometimes they hope they can help someone change when the reality is they know they can't. I know breaking up is hard but sometimes there's nothing more you can do for someone no matter how much you care for them.

I don't consider myself a beacon of wisdom at all and certainly not a role model but I have been known to give some solid advice from time to time. I also don't have a lot of personal experience with relationships and breakups but I have seen friends of mine stay in meaningless relationships that were just becoming toxic as time wore on, and I've also had the same advice I'm given in this article given to me by a few friends.

A reason I don't fancy myself as a good role model is my tendency to be selfish almost to a fault, and I don't have a problem with that. I know my personality might seem as a bit too assertive to some and a part of that is me doing what I think is best for myself in the long run. I tend to analyze things from every possible angle to see if they work in my long term plans and if they don't I let them go, which might seem selfish when we're talking about interpersonal relationships.

Another thing about me is if I really care for someone, I try and help them out in anyway I can. I'm not too fond of people in general, but with those I consider my friends I'll go to the ends of the earth for. An example of this whole thing can be found in the fact that I recently told my former boyfriend that I thought it was better for us to just remain friends rather than continue to date because it was obvious that we both had stuff we each needed to work on. On the surface that might have seemed like a selfish choice on my part to just emd a relationship rather than try to work through things together but after much thought it was the only option I had to preserve our actual friendship, which I value.

In hindsight, it was the best thing to do and actually very unselfish. I didn't do it to just guarantee I benefitted from the situation but I did it because in the end I was hopeful we could both come out with benefits that would help us with our own personal development. I tend to think in a very realistic fashion, but if I was being idealistic I'd say I hope that in situations like these both parties involved have something good gained from what seems like a bad situation. Sometimes that's not the case and in those cases it's okay to be selfish because at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you and stand firm to it.