I do not mean when the answer is, "No, that boy isn't going to like you back!" This is not a, "No, you can't get this job because I've got a better one just around this a corner!" And I am not referring to class schedules or weight loss or issues that will be solved in a week.

I'm talking about when the answer is, "No, things won't go your way for several years." I mean those times where all you want is for one small aspect of your life to go halfway decent and the answer is still, "No."

I wish I knew how to deal with this and I wish I had more insight. However, if I were to write a resume for a job that required shit luck and tragic life stories I'd have that thing one hundred pages long. That's my experience, I'm used to things going the exact opposite way that they are supposed to. I promise I'm not a depressed or misunderstood person, for the most part I'm really happy. Part of the reason is because I've learned to accept things for what they are and enjoy the bumpy ride.

Louis C.K. is the funniest person I've ever listened to. In his 2017 special, he talks about how awful falling in love is. I hate when people say this and was sort of annoyed by it. He continued by saying, "But you should do it, you should totally do it. Just fall in love, make a fucking mess. It's the best part of life."

He knew that even though falling in love is not inherently wonderful, but it is what it is.

I guess that's my main message for anyone feeling like everything is horrible all at once. It is what it is. Que sera, sera and all that. Life is not so bad if you take things for what they are. If someone is crazy and them being crazy negatively impacts your life, just know that they are crazy. Reshape your mind from thinking, "This person is crazy and if they weren't crazy things would be so good and different!" and think more, "This person is crazy and that's that." You cannot fix everything around you. If you put your heart and soul into somebody who wants nothing to do with you, that's fine too. Do not think of it as, "They don't want me and I am unlovable." think of it as, "They don't want me and that's okay because I don't need them to be successful."

You could spend so much time depending on other people for your happiness. I've learned that sometimes you have to make your own happiness. That saying about learning to dance in the rain always annoyed me because its so cliché and overused but it is relevant. If the world feels like a giant thunderstorm and life feels like the one day you needed it to be sunny, learn to love the thunderstorm. Don't be the person counting the time between thunder waiting for it to be over. Be the person who watches the lightening and finds beauty in the rain. Be the person who realizes that when this mess is all over, you'll appreciate the sun so much more.

This was a lot of rambling that might not have made any sense and maybe nobody will read this but I just hope that one person reads this and doesn't feel alone when they feel like everything sucks all at once. Because I've been there and I am there, believe me. But one day you'll laugh about how crazy your life was. So find life's simple pleasures and try to enjoy the parts you can. Its okay to be sad and mad and hurt and confused and pissed off. But don't let the parts of life that are hard ruin the other parts. Just go out, "make a fucking mess," and dance in the rain or whatever other cliché is your favorite. Things get better, but don't sit around waiting for them to. Enjoy life, even the worst parts.