Summer is meant to be a time when we step away from the isolation of library study sessions and go out into the world with the people we care about. Long days at the beach, giggling in movie theaters when it rains, game nights, parties, the list goes on.
But what about when summer isn't social? What happens when the idea of going to a party, even filled mostly with people you know, freezes you into a panic? What if an hour into the trip to the beach, you get hit with the crippling desire to go home and curl up in bed?
Summer is when social anxiety can hit its most intense, and it can be hard. As much as you want to see the people you don't get to see when the school year is in session, sometimes the idea of leaving your house is just too much to handle. Or maybe you used up all of your social energy the day before and now have to try and tough through more plans.
There's an idea that's heavily focused in our society that summer needs to be a time of great adventure. When you need to be doing something at all hours every day so that you'll have stories to tell when summer is over and you go back to the more mundane world that is the fall. And if you don't have stories of staying at the beach until you got kicked off, or riding every roller coaster at Great Adventure, there's this assumption that you wasted your summer, that you should have been doing more.
But for people with social anxiety, summer means staring at your phone and hoping plans get canceled because you don't want to have a panic attack in public, or having your friends tease you because they haven't seen you in a week. They call you a hermit and try to drag you out of your house. They mean well, but you spend the whole time wishing you hadn't left.
It can be hard, isolating, and sad. When you're the friend with social anxiety, watching your friends all have fun while you sit at home alone becomes the bittersweet norm. You may want to be out there with them making all of those fun summertime memories, but doing so could also spell disaster. So you sit back and let them have their fun and wish things could be different for you.
It's not for lack of trying. You go out when you feel like you can handle it. Sometimes, you do end up having fun and those moments make everything worthwhile. But sometimes it all bubbles up and you explode into a complete meltdown, which leaves you feeling bad for the people around you.
If you feel like this, confide in your friends. Explain to them why you don't go out as much as you would like. If they understand you, they can try their best to help you overcome the anxiety keeping you down.
Caring about someone with social anxiety over the summer can be hard too. It's difficult to watch your friend completely shut themselves away for fear of having a panic attack in public. Unfortunately, there's only so many ways you can help a person with social anxiety. Don't stop inviting them places, but don't get upset or offended if they say no. It's not because of you, or because they don't want to go. If you can be as understanding as possible and ask your friend how they can help, they would appreciate it more than they can say.
Don't be worried if your summer isn't social. Your mental health is more important than the idea that you need to live an epic adventure. Do your best. Try not to say no. Keep your head up. You've got this.
