This past Thanksgiving, myself and roughly 300 people, comprised of students and faculty from Azusa Pacific University traveled down to Mexicali to do work within the community.

It was my second time making a trip of this nature to Mexicali, and I was more than a little excited to once again have the opportunity to build on the relationships that I had established on my previous visit in March of this year. As expected, I had an absolutely wonderful time. I registered to be a part of the same team that I was on the first time that I went, and so did several friends of mine.

Although there were people on my team that I already knew, the majority of the other members were complete strangers at the beginning of the journey. I am fortunate to say that by the end of a far too short trip, I had formed incredible new bonds with great people. The friends that I made began to feel like family, something that can happen when you go through a mutually shared experience where you are around the same individuals from sun up to sun down. But of course, the best part of the experience for me personally was getting to see the familiar faces of the kids of Mexicali once again.

Seeing their smiling faces brings so much joy to my heart, and I can only aspire to be as influential to them as they have been to me. Myself and the other’s who ventured down to Mexicali left on Wednesday, Nov. 25, and returned on Sunday, Nov. 29. We had to say our farewells to the children on Saturday, as we would spend all day Sunday traveling back to the university. Believe me when I say that it took everything within me to hold back the tears from flowing as I hugged the kid’s goodbye, not knowing for sure when I was going to see them again. Although there is a language barrier between the kids and I, it is incredible to see the connection that you can make with people in spite of that.

Whenever I embark on trips like this, it has the affect of honestly making me question the trajectory of my life. I feel genuinely fulfilled when I am in the community of Mexicali, my contribution, however large or small, seems tangible. When I am sitting in my on-campus apartment, working on several different projects, I feel more overwhelmed than anything, and certainly not as if I am living out a greater purpose. Perhaps it is because although I am aware that I am working towards a degree, knowing that it is still a ways off makes me more prone to feel antsy and unfulfilled at times. Whereas when I am in Mexicali, I can see the impact of my efforts unfolding right before me, the gratification is much more instant.

The reason that I question the trajectory of my life whenever I return from Mexico is because it makes me contemplate taking time off from working towards my degree so that I can disappear to Mexicali for a year to do outreach work. But as appealing as that idea can sound, there is also fear in the notion of derailing my current path. If I were to take time off, it would set back my graduation time and effectively put my previously planned life progression on pause. Maybe changing my plans would not be such a negative thing, but regardless, it is an idea that I frequently think about. Is it something that I will actually go through with?

It is hard to say definitively. What I can say definitively is that I have a passion for the people of Mexicali, and even though I do not know exactly when I will go back or for how long, I will return. I do not know what my life will look like post-graduation, you might find me living in Mexicali for a while, or you might not. Figuring it out is all part of the journey.