I grew up rolling around in dirt outside and pretending like every rock I found was a rare gem or a pet. I raced around without shoes, rolled down grass hills, even though I knew it would be itchy and fell down -- a lot. But I always returned back home just before the sun set, happy and sleepy (the best combination.) As I became older, and screens started to become more included in the romping around the neighborhood, I felt this haze glare over my eyes. It would become blurry, and suddenly, I wouldn’t see all the little things anymore. I felt lazy, tired and sad.
At the age people would call “adulthood,” but I called, “don’t make me grow up," I began to do things I thought were going to erase that haze that always loomed over my eyes. Happiness was defined by new things like getting straight As, drinking, finding a job, making money and wearing nice clothes. It wasn’t until the haze started to take over that I realized I was unhappy because I was trying too hard to be happy.
I forgot about all the little things in life that gave me butterflies. Until one day, I sat down to do a heap load of homework and noticed a pack of crayons shoved away in my backpack.
CRAYONS?! Oh my god, I forgot how much crayons rocked my world.
So, sure, I may have taken a study break from the history of lumberjacks to color a few pictures, but it made me happier for the rest of the day.
I feel as college students, we go about our week trudging through responsibilities and work just to go out and drink on the weekends. And sure, going out is fun and being around friends who make you laugh is even better, but that’s not the only thing in life that can make you happy. It can even make that “haze” a little blurrier.
So after I put away my crayons for the day, (did you know that there’s a color named Oprah? Oprah has her own fricking crayon color!) I did some thinking about what used to make me really happy in life.
Reading a book in the sunshine, hearing the pages turn or the cover crinkle just a little bit while swinging in a hammock somewhere. Just the simple satisfaction of reading a good story made my day.
Taking pictures with a camera -- not from an iPhone. I used to be obsessed with documenting every aspect of my life with an actual camera, not because I wanted likes on social media, but because I wanted to remember things. I love printing pictures out to have them hanging in my room or put in a book because sometimes looking at a screen just doesn’t do a moment justice.
Staying outside until the sun sets. Feeling your body naturally become tired as you walk inside, your feet black from the driveway and grass stains bright.
Planting. It might sound trivial or odd, but getting your hands dirty gives you a kind of peaceful feeling. As we get older and sit behind desks more often, it’s easy to forget what it feels like to actually experience nature.
Filling up an entire notebook. Feeling the dents in the pages of a lined notebook and seeing all your thoughts written in black ink just makes it all seem worth it. Holding something concrete you never thought would be anything but dreams is truly something that can make you glow.
Eating a PB&J that you made yourself, cutting off the edges and saving them for the last few bites. I’m not sure why, but this simple little sandwich brings back so many memories of sitting outside on the porch in sandals.
Watching the holiday "Peanuts" movies. I’m sorry, but watching them dance is the most cheerful, entertaining thing in the world.
Laying outside in the sun after a dip in the pool. There’s nothing better than warming up after cooling off in cold, blue water. Add a Coke with ice cubes? Ugh, perfect.
Sitting around a patio table outside just talking until the sun sets. I think everyone has experienced those times when no one wants to get up and leave, even if it’s beginning to get chillier and chillier.
Making dinner with mom. The kitchen smells good, and Mom has given you specific tasks to do while you both bustle around. You accidentally add a cup of salt instead of a cup of sugar, but it doesn’t matter because somehow you’re still happy.
Sometimes your vision has to become blurred to make you remember everything you once saw in clear colors. When life gets busy and work starts to take over, it’s important to recall what once made you happy in order to get back to it. Stop thinking about what you think you’re supposed to do and think about what you want to do.