We all know people who are addicted to negativity. Sometimes we can’t avoid interacting with them, depending on the relationship; but they are draining, and I don’t know why they don’t know this. For sure, life throws things our way every now and then that send us spiraling out of our “happy element." That’s normal. But some people seem to perpetually thrive on being a victim – they actively seek out situations that will spotlight their “victim status,” and then use it to get attention. For those of you who watch Saturday Night Live, think “Debbie Downer”.
Maybe jealousy drives this behavior. Or low self-esteem. Or it could be just pure selfishness. I really don’t know what makes them this way. We live in a world where people choose to stay angry rather than swallowing their pride and apologizing, but why?
What I doknow is that it’s exhausting to deal with them.Some characteristics of these negative/exhausting people are:
1. They complain about everything
Small setbacks in their lives command just as much attention as major obstacles do, making it hard to tell the difference. Like in the story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", you don’t really recognize when something is truly wrong…because something is always wrong.
2. They are overly sensitive
You can’t offer constructive criticism because they’re too thin-skinned to take it to heart. And sometimes they might even interpret a compliment as a passive-aggressive insult.
3. They love bad news
They can’t wait to tell you bad news about someone else…and they seem to enjoy it. And on this note, they rarely share good news or feel happy for others when something good happens to them.
4. They never take responsibility
There’s always a reason for their behavior, and it’s generally (according to them) not their fault. This means that apologies from these people are a rarity!
5. They don't reciprocate in the friendship
They constantly are unloading their problems/worries on you, but never allow you to do the same. If you are always the sounding board for someone who doesn’t give back when you need them, it’s probably time to start making yourself less available. They’re taking advantage of your kindness!
6.They don't have many real friends
They may have a healthy “friend list” on social media, but in real life, they don’t have a lot of genuine friendships. This could lead one to wonder whether a lack of friends is what has made the person so negative. But, in all probability, it’s probably the negativity that has driven away their friends. In fact, they may be jealous of your other friendships, and even try to drive a wedge in them.
7. They are social media abusers
You’ve seen the attention-seeking posts, I’m sure. They post statuses that will get them “sympathy likes”…without even realizing that it makes them look pathetic. I often wonder why getting 50 “likes” from acquaintances is more fulfilling to these people that having a few truly valuable real-life friendships. I assume that, for these people, quantity is more important than quality.
These are just a few traits of negative people, but there are plenty more. Like they rarely want to try new things (especially if someone else suggests it), they constantly seek the opinion of others (no original thoughts of their own), and they seem to enjoy being mad (because this allows them tell others how they were mistreated by someone). So, what do we do about these people? Well, there’s really nothing we can do to change their attitudes. Change has to start from within. We can try to lead by example and hope that our positivity rubs off on them; however, rarely does a tiger change its stripes. Therefore, the only solution is to surround ourselves with positive, uplifting people – and give ourselves permission to pull away from negative, draining people. They might attempt to throw a guilt trip on you when pull back, but just be mindful that this is another manipulative ploy of the “negative person” to boost their victim role.
When a relationship (whether it’s of the romantic, friendship, or professional kind) becomes one-sided, saps all of your energy, and gives you little fulfillment, there’s no reason to stay in it. Oh, and negativity can be contagious. Don’t stick around and catch it!
