We were an unusual pair, but we were perfect for each other. She was gonna stop babysitting for my parents….. then I came along……and she stayed. The thing was, she wasn't just a babysitter - she was my other mom in this world. She taught me many lessons, some silly, some true, some that needed to be learned, but each one has made me who I am. She left my world six years ago but never left my heart.

I remember cutting my friend's hair in the bathroom, and my friend had cut mine too, so most logical thing to us was to throw the hair away and put on hats, but she knew us better than that.

I remember sneaking into the house one day after school and thinking I shut the door all the way, but the dogs noticed it was open. I cried for hours because I thought Bandit killed a dog and that it was my fault.

I remember getting in trouble by someone else and coming to cry to you, and even though you agreed, you still hugged me through it.

I remember walking through your church and everyone called me “your baby”.

I remember being at a friends house laughing and joking around then my dad calling me. I remember breaking on the floor. I remember screaming in pain because I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to thank her for always believing in me and making me feel loved, for never letting me feel alone no matter if it had been awhile since we talked, I knew she was always on my side. My dad had a family friend call me just to check in on me and I remember feeling empty. I walked the halls at school the next with many apologies because she had impacted all of childhood friends lives. I remember going to the funeral and realizing it was real.

I remember all the times I have visited her because I know she is still on my side. I go there and I pray, sing, laugh, talk, and, normally, cry. I feel more me when I leave, I feel like I'm showing those emotions she said we never shared. She taught me to let go, to grieve, to scream when I am mad, to praise when he is doing things, to cry out when I am in pain, to show every emotion because thats why we have them. To show them, I find myself harboring so many feelings inside and then I think of her and remember I have to show them or no one will know.

She gave me wisdom She showed me faith She spoke with love and sometimes sass She praised with faith She taught me family. Most importantly, She GAVE me family. She gave me HER family. She gave me her daughters and sisters, who I consider my family. She gave me love. She gave me pure love. She taught me to respect myself. She taught me to be respected. She taught me to have friends who only pull me up. She showed me there's a bright side to all circumstances. She showed me I'm never alone.

Though I lost you at an age where I really needed you, I find you in things every day. Though I really need you right now, I am glad to have had the time I had with you.

So as I go through this life, I may be scared, anxious, or angry at the challenges, I will face it knowing that you'll be beside me and that I'll always be your baby girl.