The most valuable lesson I learned in college was regarding self-care. In other words, if we don’t take care of ourselves first, it is impossible for us to take care of others.

Anyone who has flown on a plane is aware that when the safety instructions are being given, prior to takeoff, you are told to administer oxygen to yourself first before attempting to help anyone else, should an emergency occur. Likewise, it is the same in life. It is not a selfish act to attend to your own needs first, in the same way that you would attend to someone else’s.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re busy pouring yourself into other people and other things, in the words of The Miracles and The Jackson 5 (for the most notable cover), Who’s Loving You?

There are 5 areas of self care: Physical, Spiritual, Lifestyle, Mental/Emotional, and Relationship.

Physical Self-Care

• Eat regular, balanced meals (try to choose healthier options when you can).
• Exercise, drink more water, and get enough sleep.
• Wear clothes you like - establish a sense of style that you feel comfortable in and that suits your body.
• Pamper yourself - buy a nice smelling lotion, shower gel, or candle that relaxes you.
• Set a goal and date and treat yourself by buying that thing you’ve been wanting.

Spiritual Self-Care

• Make time for reflection - I do this on my way home from work and school.
• Find purpose and meaning.
• Practice forgiveness.
• Be open to not knowing.
• Meditate/pray.

Lifestyle Self-Care

• Add more routine to your life - get a planner.
• Turn on some music and sing or dance or both.
• Set goals and make a goal chart.
• Take a day trip or have a picnic at the park.
• Allow yourself to be in the here and now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not two-weeks down the road: NOW!
• Make cleaning a regular habit - it’s easier to maintain anyway.

Mental/Emotional Self-Care

• Watch what you say to yourself. Be affirming, be positive, and be honest.
• Keep a journal - journal honestly about what’s going on in your head and heart.
• Remember that it’s okay to cry. Tears aren’t the bad guy, suppressed emotions are.
• Get creative! Find a creative outlet to express your emotions.
• Take a break from social media every now and again.

Relationship Self-Care

• Write thank you notes. Often, slowing down and really thinking about why you appreciate someone is good therapy.
• Make time to hang out with your friends. Relationships are important.
• Acknowledge when you need help. Vulnerability is a sign of good mental health.
• Keep in contact with your family.
• Set boundaries. Protect who you are.

As you can see self-care doesn’t have to be expensive and it certainly isn’t selfish. Life is all about balance. Taking care of yourself helps to maintain that.

Now go and take care of yourself!