When He Just Can't Find Anything | The Odyssey Online
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When He Just Can't Find Anything

Things we, as women, love to hate.

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When He Just Can't Find Anything
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Do you have someone in your life that can seriously NEVER find anything? They put something somewhere and constantly ask where it is when they go to get it again? And why do they feel the need to ask someone else where they put something? This is literally an everyday thing in my household.

I have been with my boyfriend for roughly three and a half years. We moved in together about six months after we started dating, and I noticed this almost immediately. He worked out-of-state for an oil field and was only home for a couple weeks, but it didn’t seem like that mattered. He was living on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico and would call me to ask where something was. I mean, seriously? I’m not even there! But needless to say, he must’ve known I was some sort of psychic. No matter what he lost, I would mention a clue, and there it was. Just like that. Call me crazy, but after knowing this man for many years, I seemed to know everything about him and his little quirks.

My boyfriend no longer works in the oil field and is home every evening. I don’t necessarily watch where he puts things, but it seems like they’re always in the same place as they were before. He asks many questions, such as, “Babe, where’s my keys?” “Babe, where’s my wallet?” “Babe, have you seen my watch?” “Have you seen my flannel?” or better yet, “Where is my snuff?” I can honestly say that I feel the need to chuckle at every instance. At first, I would just tell him where these items were because I had seen them lying somewhere. Sometimes, I would get up and get them for him myself. After all this time, I seemed to get a little smarter.

I do not drive your vehicle, I do not use your wallet, I do not wear your watch, I do not wear your clothes and I certainly do not use your snuff. So please, if you’re going to keep asking me where things are instead of looking for them or remembering where you last put them, then be prepared to play my game. Instead of telling you exactly where these items are, I am now going to give you subtle hints. Welcome to the game of "Can’t Find Sh*t!" [Insert evil laugh here.]

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