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When God Broke my Heart

He did what He had to do.

Ashlee Bennett

Jan 30, 2017

Lander University

112

Quit Day

I always hear testimonies from people about the day God made them whole. The time God made Himself known and filled their hearts. Funny thing for me is, I met God because He broke my heart. He shattered me so that He could be the one to put me back together.

Let me explain.

I have always had the "everything happens for a reason" mentality. But when something absolutely horrible happens to you, it's hard to begin to fathom that reasoning. God made it known to me that 2016 was going to be the year He took over my life. He did the only thing He could to snap me out of my secular ways and really get me to turn to Him.

I thought I had my whole life planned out. I was on a schedule, living every day like an itinerary I had made up years ago. I was comfortable and had no intentions on going astray from what I had planned. But God knew that my plans were not the right plans. It took true heartbreak for me to realize that I am not in charge of my life. God is.

I'll admit that 2016 was one of the hardest years of my life. But I grew more in those 365 days than I have in the entire 20 years before that. I grew as a student, as an individual, and as a child of God. He took every broken piece of my heart and put me back together. He filled that emptiness inside of me with His word and His grace. God sends His toughest soldiers to fight His hardest battles and He knew I was prepared for the months ahead of me.

I thank God every single day for breaking my heart. It's been over a year now and I am stronger and more confident than I ever have been. I know God in a way that I never imagined I would. I see my life in a different light. I went from wondering if I would ever make it out of this darkness, to wondering how I ever spent my life without the light of God. When God speaks to you, it's not always about getting what you prayed for. It's about getting what God knows you need. He knew I needed Him and there was only one way to do that, so He did it. My testimony is not about miracles or a life devoted to my faith from birth. My testimony is about God getting my attention. My testimony is about God breaking me down so He could put me together. My testimony is about survival. And I thank God for that.

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When God Broke my Heart

He did what He had to do.

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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