I went into freshman year of college thinking that the friends I made there would be my friends for life. All the movies told me it was true, so when that didn't happen, it hurt. Someone told me once that your freshman year friends don't last and I wish I had believed them. The first day on campus you feel like you need to make a friend immediately. Everyone is already walking around with friends and laughing, so you need to find someone fast! So you grab someone and they are your first friend. Sometimes it works out. I know plenty of people who are still best friends with their first-day friend. But it does not always work out. So this is my real-life example to show how sometimes your first-day friends aren't really your friends.
From day one I could tell we were totally different people. I loved shopping and exploring, and they liked sports and bad MTV shows. I pretended to be like them so I would fit in. I said what I thought they wanted to hear. They needed someone to drive them somewhere; I would. They needed someone to vent to; I would listen. They needed someone to buy them Sonic; there I was. And honestly, I should have realized what was going on; they never got me anything, never asked me about my life, never went out of their way for me. But I thought that was how friends were. So I was there for them until I couldn't be anymore. My life had started to fall apart. Family members had been sick and dying; my boyfriend hospitalized; I was not doing well in classes, and I just could not take any more. I would lock myself in my room alone, not talking to anyone. Everything had been falling apart and none of them even asked if I was OK.
They started yelling at me for withdrawing from them, still not caring why. They started talking about me and spreading rumors. My life got even worse, and I struggled to even leave my room for classes, so they'd come in my room just to tell me how worthless I was. I had never felt so low in my entire life, and I had no one to go to. They'd flip me off in public, text me about how I should just die, and even tried to run me over in their car. I honestly think I had the worst case scenario.
Eventually, we moved into different buildings. I still see them, and they still snicker and flip me off, but thankfully, I've grown since then. I've made new friends, and I have more confidence now, although I still think about them a lot. I think about the pain and anger I felt. I think about the nights I felt like I didn't even deserve to be on this Earth, all because of them.
To everyone going into college: I pray that your freshman friends last. But if they don't, it is okay. You will make more friends. Life goes on. If anyone ever makes you feel worthless, you do not need them in your life. Don't be afraid to lose friends because they were your first/only friends in college.There are plenty more people, and I promise you that one day you will find a friend that truly cares about you.
