When my partner and I started dating, our time together was limited to the weekends due to our jobs and how far we lived from each other. During the weekdays we would make it a point to communicate with each other regularly, something we continued to do even after we started living together.
Earlier this year, my partner started a new job where we would end up seeing less of each other. This meant transitioning from seeing him every day to only seeing him for about two days every two or three weeks.
That amount of time separated could spell doom for most relationships. However, we were--and remain committed to--maintaining as healthy a relationship as possible based on the circumstances. With that in mind, it's worth sharing what steps we've taken to keep things running smoothly.
Trust. This one is obvious. Trust is a major foundation of any relationship and in my case, it's even more important considering we go weeks without seeing each other. Our relationship has progressed well enough that there has never been a situation or scenario where my trust in my partner ever came into question, and I would like to think he feels the same about me.
Because of the stereotypes associated with what he does now, I've received comments from people telling me that surely he is getting his romantic fulfillment from strangers during these long stretches of being away. I have enough faith in him to rest assured that is not the case.
Having second thoughts about what your significant other may or may not be doing when he or she is away will only serve to cast lingering doubts that may eventually escalate into full blown feelings of distrust. Of course this also means having a mutual understanding of what your relationship goals are and making sure you're both making the effort to keep the spark alive.
Communication. When my partner is away, we speak to each other literally every single day and often twice during the same day. Sure, there are moments where we've run out of things to talk about and there are moments of silence, but it doesn't matter. Communication encourages commitment and reinforces that you're both on the same page.
Spending time together. As mentioned, I get to spend time with my partner for two, maybe three days. As an introvert, my alone time is priceless. However, when he makes those five-hour treks to spend some time with me and my family, I will happily sacrifice my time to spend it with him, even if it means doubt absolutely nothing productive and simply enjoying having him by my side. This also means sharing a 50/50 agreement in terms of what to do. If he wants us to spend the weekend with his best friend, I’m cool with that. If I want us to have lunch with my best friend, he’s always on board.
Not sweating the small stuff. There are bound to be disagreements in any relationship, but I can honestly say we have yet and hopefully never will have a full blown tiff. That means being able to work through disagreements instead of bottling up what’s on the mind and being able to talk things out. Perhaps most importantly, agree to disagree if necessary without finger pointing or invalidating the other person’s point of view and always be willing to apologize if you know you screwed up.
What steps or techniques have you taken to keep your relationship alive and well?
