See, that's the thing with most of us. We tend to hide behind the lies instead of getting hit with the truth head on. I used to be one of those people, trust me. Nobody wants to get hurt and feel pain, so we'll go down any path but the one we need to. We will knock on door number three because it looks better, even if we know there is sanctuary at door one. We will do anything not to feel pain in the moment. We tend to be blind to the truth especially when it's not what we want to see.
For me, I ran years from the truth. It wasn't until this past year that I was forced to see my situation for what it was. I was in a serious relationship that lasted five years, and I was then left for the other woman. Little did I know, my ex had that girl on the side the entire time of our relationship excluding the first six months. I had a feeling that they had something going on, but I had no idea it was for that long. I didn't want to realize the truth, I couldn't. For example, during one of our mini breakups, she sent flowers to the other woman. The same day we broke up. My heart was shattered yet, I still took her back a month after that. I forced myself to believe that I was who she truly wanted and the other woman was just for the attention. When in reality, the feelings for the other woman were more than just hookups; she was emotionally attached to her. Another time, I confessed to my ex about emotionally cheating. I regretted it and felt the guilt of it. I wanted to be honest with her, and start fresh. However, minutes after I told her with tears streaming down her face, she used my phone to call the other girl. She sat in my car, with my phone talking to the other girl about what I did to her, while I was sitting in her house waiting. I didn't find that out until hours later when she admitted it to me. That right there gave me all the red flags I needed to end it, but I didn't. The truth was staring straight at me, but I refused to acknowledge it.
The minute we officially ended things was an eye opening moment for me. I was finally able to breathe. I let the truths sink in that I kept turning my cheek to. The thing I kept myself blind from was the fact that she was no longer in love with me. I didn't want to believe that it was possible for people to fall out of love and it was happening right in front of my eyes. The truth for me was that we were no longer good for each other and that our relationship had become too toxic. We just needed to let each other go.
Running away from your problems will only do more damage in the end. It will be a hard thing to do and you may think you are not strong enough to handle the truth but the thing is, you are. You are strong enough. You just have to believe in yourself, that you are worth more then just being an option to someone. Hearing the truth will hurt like hell but that's what you need. Being forced to face reality will be a wake up call for you, so stop ignoring those red flags that are thrown at you. Trust your instinct and do what it tells you. Only you know what is best for yourself, and yeah at times your vision may get blurry but deep down you know what the right choice is.
Give yourself more credit.
