I've lived in the metro Detroit area for nearly five years now and at least once a year I go on vacation. This year, I made a quick trip down south to see my mother. By quick, I mean it was four days, and I went from Tennessee to Georgia and back home to Michigan. I felt like a road warrior.
Oddly enough, though, when I crossed the Michigan state line coming back home, an onset of anxiety set in. I went from four days of a peaceful mind, besides the fact my car broke down an hour away from my destination at the start of my vacation and took almost two days to fix, to automatically falling back into the daily grind state of mind. Making mental lists of what needs to be done upon my return back home, preparing for work the next morning, figuring out which bills are due, etc.
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In most cases when people take a vacation, they somewhat look forward to coming home. Whether it's to see their family or their animals or looking forward to the comfort of sleeping in their own bed. For me, when I drove through Detroit as tears swelled up in my eyes, I didn't feel any of those things.
I knew it wasn't because I left my mom, I know I'll see her in a few months for the holidays. Although, I obviously wish I could have spent a few more days on vacation, that too wasn't the reason I felt so empty upon my return.
I believe I've reached a point in my life where I've realized it's time to move on, to close one chapter and start anew. I mean, why else would someone become so overwhelmed with anxiety about returning home. I think the saying, "I came, I saw, I conquered" fits perfectly.
I love Detroit and still have a couple classes to finish for my degree at Wayne State University, but in other words I'm over it. I went on vacation and without consciously knowing, sub-consciously upon my return I came to the conclusion that it's time to start moving on. I've grown tired and weary of the hustle and bustle here. I've gotten comfortable, and it's time to start planning my next moves both physically and mentally.
For some, people will spend their entire lives in one place and be content and that's great for them. To each his own. I knew from an early age that I've always wanted more, to experience more and get the absolute most out of my surroundings, and I have done just that while living here.
Coming back from vacation has made me realize that it's definitely time for a change, I'm not exactly sure when that change will come or what form it will take because it's going to take some planning and it certainly won't happen overnight. I still have obligations here for the time being, but for now, I'll continue my journey here with my best foot forward.
