This summer, after much prayer, I learned that I was called to into Psychiatry, a medical field that focuses on the study of the mind and healing the illnesses and disturbances that lie within. I’d never thought about it before but, it made sense to me. The mind, figuring why people do what they do and the how the mind affects human behavior has always been an interest of mine. And my Psychology classes were usually the ones I excelled at; I even won a Psychology award in high school. I was excited...until I went to church.

That particular Sunday, the pastor happened to get sidetracked and rejected the idea of the unconscious mind, a Psychology principle that refers to a “ reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that outside of our conscious awareness” that was claimed to influence human behavior on behalf our interests, desires and impulses. The pastor went on to call Psychology a “crazy and ridiculous” field and ranted about how it undermined the Bible and its teachings. As the congregation voiced their agreement with “Amens” and head nods, I felt my heart shrink. The joy in my revelation was replaced with shock as I realized that the medical field that I had been called into wasn’t looked at highly in my Christian community.

I didn’t doubt my calling, I was just confused. What was “crazy and ridiculous” about helping people dig through their traumas and emotional troubles in order to bring peace and healing to the mind? To me, that’s what Psychiatry is all about. Second Corinthians 2:5 states “He comforts us in our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive in Christ”, by doing my calling, I’d be comforting others in their Mental and Psychological afflictions...just like God comforted me this summer.

It was a few weeks into May when I realized that, emotionally and mentally, I was a mess. I couldn’t take two steps without some negative thought coming into my mind. I was paranoid about that tiniest thing, I always felt tired, I lost weight and didn't eat as much, I was jumpy, worrisome and I guess it showed on my face because I was asked “Are you ok?” on a regular basis. At that point, I decided to finally pray about it and ask God to take away these horrible feelings away. The following afternoon, I found a copy of Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind: For Teens” that my mom had wanted me to read years ago. For the first time, the name caught my attention and I picked it up.

As I meditated on the Scriptures and teachings in the book, I found that the reason I was all messed up was because of all the junk in my headspace. So I got a journal and wrote down everything that I felt was bothering me and found that the common root was fear. Fear that had manifested itself as envy (fear that I wouldn’t get what others seemed to have), apathy (fear of being left out or hurt caused me to stay away from certain people and stop caring not care), doubt (fear that things I was praying/hoping for would never happen for me and brought about a defeated attitude), and worry (fear that everything and everyone was against me and that nothing was going to go right for me).

One scripture from the book stuck with me: Isaiah 41:10 which says: “Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand” and caused me to understands that this fear didn’t come from God, and by realizing where I was weak, I was able to attack my fear with Scripture until I felt more confident and present. I found the root of my emotional issue and treated it, which is what you do in Psychiatry. Instead of medicines and a comfortable chair, I used Scripture and biblical teaching to change my way of thinking and it brought positive changes in how I felt AND in how I acted.

At the time, I didn't realize that God was preparing me for psychiatry, nor that He was using Cognitive-behavioral therapy whose “goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel”. To me, my story proves that Psychiatry and Christianity CAN co-exist; that Psychology doesn’t undermine the Word and prayer with scripture makes a powerful psychological medicine. When I get my doctorate in Psychiatry I can use my medical training and give my patients medicine and prescriptions, of course, but I can also attack any mental or emotional disturbance from the enemy with Scripture. Today, I accept what God has called me to do with full confidence, and I’m ready to help others achieve their mental healing with the Word of God.