Last night, my very best friend from home came to visit me here in Charleston, SC. As she got in very late, we spent most of the night eating junk food and sitting in my bed catching up as much as we could. We talked about everything, the men in our lives, what our latest Netflix addiction is, gossip on common friends, the usual. She then randomly asked me if I had voted in the primary election.
Let me warn all of you who read this: I hate politics. I do not enjoy involving myself in them. I find them boring and unimportant, considering the electoral college basically decides on everything. While I don’t enjoy or partake in politics, this particular election has caught my attention for one reason: Donald Trump is a terrible human being. But, I don’t want to get into that. The point of this article is not to get into politics, but rather to discuss what a difference in opinion does to a friendship.
I told her that no, I had not voted, that I didn't care enough to. I said, “No, I hate all of this political crap. I just care that we don't have Donald Trump in office, I fear for our nation if he is elected. He’s a terrible human.” She kind of laughed and looked a little uncomfortable and eventually replied, “Well, that’s who I voted for.”
Then began my five stages of grief:
1. Denial: She’s kidding, right? She has to be kidding.
This girl is one of the best friends I have. Somehow, our political opinions never came up in any of our conversations throughout our entire friendship. My first thought: She's messing with me. I just told her how much I hate him and she just wants to see my reaction. When she told me in fact, she wasn't kidding, and was insisting that she believed in him. I just shook my head. I refused to believe her.
2. Anger: Why are you doing this!?
When my brain was finally able to comprehend that a person I very much so liked and respected, voted in favor of someone I definitely did not… I got a little upset. I was probably a little rude. I asked her if she felt she had made an informed decision and threw a lot of the racist, sexist, awful things Trump had been known to have said at her. She knew about most of them, which only made me more angry. My hope that she had just been brainwashed by the media began to fade. She actually agreed with a man that has all of the opposite views that I do. Before this point in the our conversation, I was starting to fall asleep, when she told me this piece of information, I couldn't sleep. I think I told her “I was almost asleep, now I feel sick to my stomach and I want to come over there and punch you.” She said she believed in his political polices, but not really with the type of man he was.
3.Bargaining: Okay, so maybe if I tell her more of the terrible things about him, she'll change her mind and hate him with me.
I went on even further to tell her that Trump initially said in older interviews that he would do better as a democrat. That he had changed his views on abortion to make himself into a better republican candidate. And, of course, more racist and sexist things he had said. I was rude, and said she’d grow up and change her mind someday. But, she still refused to budge.
4. Depression: Wow, this really sucks.
My brain had to further comprehend and realize that she was well informed and still made the choice. Once I realized that no, she wasn't messing with me and yes she was well informed and I got over my anger, I was really sad. We have always agreed on everything. It made me feel like I didn't even know her.
5. Acceptance: Okay, I love you anyway.
Despite our difference in opinion, we still have a meaningful friendship. We’ve always told each other everything and that won't change just because we have different views on politics. Anytime we’re together, we’ll laugh until we cry, there’s never a dull moment. Life is all about acceptance, and we accepted that we have different views. We also decided to never talk about politics again, but that’s beside the point. We’re still friends and a difference in opinion, even a great one, won't change that.
