We're told from childhood to be kind to others and treat them how we want to be treated. We're taught to be respectful and consider others' feelings before we act. However, we're not told to treat ourselves the way we would a friend or loved one. We're not specifically taught to think of the effect our actions will have on our self-worth.
In placing such a strong emphasis on relationships with others and less on self-love, it can be easy for some people to focus solely on others and become trapped in trying to please everyone and be a "good" person.
You must remember though, that to be a truly good person, you must be good to others and yourself.
When you love someone, you are willing to make some sacrifices to make his or her life better, but you should also ask yourself if that person expects you to make sacrifices because of your kind nature. Is that person taking advantage of you for being a good, loving human being? How do you stay kind without letting people take you for granted?
A way to discover the answer is by looking at how your relationships with others affect the view you have of yourself.
In certain situations, it can be very difficult to remain kind and loving. You may want to lash out and forget to be kind, which the other person may very well deserve and you certainly have a right to do. Through all of this, you should look at that relationship for all its worth. What type of person do you become in this relationship? Are you caring and loving? Or are you full of anger and hatred? Which version do you want to be?
It's important to respect others as you would any human being and be polite, but don't feel the need to fake friendliness. Instead, find a way to let go of the people who bring negativity in your life. If it is impossible to completely avoid them, treat them as you would an acquaintance or stranger. Granting yourself the right to control the levels of investment you have in relationships, especially with those who have hurt you, does not make you unkind. You are simply valuing yourself and moving past anger by giving little time to those who provoke it.
When being kind becomes difficult, think about what makes it so and figure out what to do from there. While it's important to be kind to others, it's essential to be kind to yourself.
