One of the most common lessons that you'll learn when you're growing up is to always "try your best." We hear it all the time. Applied in the context of school, sports, and extracurriculars, we're told to give 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. You would think that it would be difficult not to get burnt out in a society that stuffs our heads full with exhausting standards to uphold. "Know exactly what you want out of life by the time you're 18 years old," "be filthy rich and married by the age of 25," "have a job fresh out of school," and let's not forget the best one, "get straight 'A's." The majority of these expectations are thrust upon us before we enter our 20s. You would think it would be frustrating and irritating, and you'd be exactly right.
Perfection is an interesting concept. It is, interestingly enough, a self-defeating paradox. In order to succeed every time, we must repeatedly do the opposite, and fail. It is something we all strive for, yet none of us achieve.
So why do we continue to try? Why do we exhaust ourselves and run ourselves ragged in order to perfect the way we are perceived by other people? The answer can be found in our childhood. We are taught that receiving a 'C' is "average," and simultaneously taught that "average" is unsatisfactory, when the definition of average is that it is, in fact, the majority of outcomes found in the student body.
We are able to pick out the top five percent of our class from day one. They are smart, they are underdogs, but they are the comeback kids. They will go on to Ivy Leagues, to the best of private universities, and to be the doctors, the lawyers, and the professors of our future. Why, then, if we do not achieve in the same ways as these individuals, are we told that we will not succeed in the future?
Students in our school system who are unable to get the coveted 'A' have it permanently ingrained in their subconscious that they are not ______ enough. The recipe for success according to our modern society? GoodPerfect grades, enoughtoo many extracurriculars to handle, and a healthycomplete balance between financial, social, and overall independence are essential.
Now, I mentioned earlier that perfection is impossible, yet we continue to strive for it. Perfection gives us an outlet worthy of the pent-up energy we have attained in over 16 years of educational experience. We are thrust into the world, equipped with what we are told are the necessary skills.
Yet nearly every single one of us enters our second semester of college defeated, overwhelmed, fatigued, and sucked dry of every bit of the confidence with which we entered this formative chapter in our lives. Humans have basic needs for survival, food, sleep, socialization. These needs are neglected, and we are starving ourselves of the means necessary to live healthily and happily. We are literally killing ourselves to earn 'A+’s.
So what can be done? How do we reprioritize, reorganize, compartmentalize, and take a breath of fresh air? There are some important steps to be completed as a part of this action plan. Firstly, acknowledge that earning straight 'A’s in college is difficult… really difficult. Acknowledge that, depending on your major, and assuming that you are of average competence and mental capacity, you will have to abandon all hope of a social life, any chance at a normal sleeping and eating schedule, and forget working out, in order to get a 4.0.
If you think long and hard about it, you can probably think of around 10 to 15 people you know who currently have a 4.0. Some are the frustratingly effortless obtainers of these scores, and some work relentlessly and sacrifice everything in order to achieve academic perfection.
Is it worth it? Is it worth the time, the stress, the tears, the insomnia, the sweat? The majority of people will tell you yes. I will tell you that nothing beyond your healthiest contribution is worth the aggravation.
Sometimes we need to devote time to what really matters. Experiences like college, that can potentially take all of our time, fool us into thinking that they need to take all of our time. This is a false concept that forces us to subject ourselves to unnecessary pain and frustration. Which leads me to the second step; take time to yourself to sort out your priorities. If you find yourself repeatedly upset week after week because you miss commitments to your family, your best friends, yourself, reorganize your list in order of importance.
Prioritize sleep, physical and mental health, emotional health. Please, please, please dedicate the amount of effort to yourself and those you love that you dedicate to getting a 100 percent on every test. Accept 'B’s and 'C’s if it will spare you the insanity. Work on yourself first. I guarantee you that if you graduate exhausted, having reached your limit physically and mentally, you are much less likely to succeed. Hard work is valued for a reason, but hard work should be distributed thoughtfully, and success should only ever be achieved with a combination of patience, confidence, and stability.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to lose yourself in order to find yourself. You are a work in progress to be built upon over a lifetime.