I saw myself as a broken mirror for so long. Someone could have looked at me and seen nothing but shattered desires and parts of me that could damage them. I did not want anyone to get close to me for so long because I was scared that I would hurt them. I was scared that the glass that covered my existence could have cut them deeply causing them to bleed.

Why try to find hope in a world so broken and evil? Why try to be the best person that I could when nobody around me cared about how they treated others? Why not grow up fast? Why not rush my childhood and try to only rely on myself? These thoughts were what broke me. These thoughts made my reflection crack. I could not recognize myself in a crowd if I had to, let alone a mirror. I lost myself. I broke and I shattered a whole lot.

You know when you get hurt as a little kid and you just want your mom to hold you and tell you that everything is fine? I wanted that so badly. I wanted someone to put bandaids all over my wounds and support me in winning every battle that I was in the midst of. For so long, I tried to find comfort in family, friends, and others. And as a lot of people actually shaped my life, nobody was able to restore my heart. Nobody was able to promise me that I would not be broken forever. Nobody was able to promise me that I could look at myself again without seeing the sharp edges that covered my soul.

But I existed. Just like you, or that girl who smiles all the time as her world is falling apart. I lived a life most would call normal, and how life is meant to be lived. I did what I needed to do and kept a smile on my face. But inside, I was a mess. When I was alone, I was a building hurricane. Anxiety strangled me, stopping me from inviting someone to just simply sit with me. For so long, I thought I was not worthy of having a future. I thought no one would ever hear my cries. And most importantly, I cried because there was nothing I could do to help the rest of the world that was constantly hurting around me. From a young age, I knew that every single person on this earth has dealt with a broken heart in different aspects, and that I wanted to do something about it. Being there for others helped me put the broken puzzle of glass back together.

Sometimes you just need to let yourself stay in bed all day, ignoring the world. Sometimes you just need to cry for hours and hours. Sometimes you do need to open up to someone and let them in. Break every wall down for at least one person in your lifetime, and they will influence who you are quite a bit. But I know for a fact that my life did not start until I was alive. Really alive. I have been on this earth for almost twenty years, yet I have only felt truly alive for a reason for a couple of them. I was able to find the light. The guiding hand that saved me. I found someone that could pick up every single piece of glass and put it all back together without cutting His fingers.

I found someone who holds my broken heart for hours, promising me that the future is brighter and that I am not alone no matter what I'm going through. I know what it's like to carry a genuine smile. A smile not on my face to show others that I am happy, but an authentic reason to smile knowing that we are each covered in love and saved by grace. I am free. Every mistake I have made has been washed away at the cross. The blood that covered every scar on my heart has been replaced with nothing but hope and forgiveness. I know that I am a completely imperfect person, yet He still loves me for me.

I will never forget the life I used to live. I had a childhood that amazes me and gives me butterflies thinking about it. I had a beautiful life growing up, and memories that still fill my heart with joy. But when something went wrong, I was lost. I thought I could get myself through. I thought a human being could repair my tears. I thought becoming who the world wanted me to be was the right way to go. But in the new life I live, I spend my mornings dancing and rejoicing. I find myself smiling at strangers and seeing so much hope in their eyes. I find myself looking up every single day, because I am constantly being moved in spirit. In this new life, I see my heart change drastically after just a few simple moments spent in prayer. I now am filled with the spirit on a whole new level, and I cannot keep it in anymore. I want to shout to the world that they can be saved too. I want to warn each being that the ways of the world are hammers that will shatter them into the smallest of pieces.

I am a stained glass window. I was made in perfect love and with reason. My heart is struck with the joy of His never-failing grace, and the light shines from the One who has proved to me that I am worth it. I let others come close to me now, and I lift them up with love. Because if I was living a good life for eighteen years and still felt empty, I know there are so many more people out there who need to hear that there is hope for them too.

You were created in the hands of the One who created every mountain peak and every grain of sand, each unique and delicate. You are truly loved and beautiful in His eyes. You were made with a purpose only you can fulfill. And you can live today knowing that there is someone who loves you and is with you through your battles. Why be broken glass when you can be covered in colors of beauty and wonder? Repent and start living. You deserve to feel alive.