Call me crazy, but you can never underestimate the power of a love language. When thinking about my sorority, one of the biggest things that stands out is how much I love all my sisters. Seriously. They are so individually unique and know how to make me laugh, talk about problems and are such positive influences in many different ways. I want to make sure that I love them as well as they love me and in order to do that, I decided to take a closer look at love languages.
To those of you who are not familiar with love languages, Gary Chapman wrote this really famous book called "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts." Chapman looks at the best ways to show his love for his spouse, friends and family. The five love languages are physical touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time and words of affirmation. Chapman describes each of us as having a "love tank" — we need so much love to keep us going and to sustain us, but we also need to give love to those around us. By taking a look at each of the love languages, we can get a sense of what people need to feel loved by others.
Physical touch is pretty self explanatory. Think hugs, kisses on cheeks, high-fives, that sort of thing. I hug my Little all the time because I am obsessed with her, but that does not mean that is her love language. Physical touch can act as a reassurance to somebody or just a reminder that you are there.
Acts of service are easily understood in a marriage relationship. If your husband or wife does the dishes without you having to ask them or if they do mow the lawn with you nagging them, that's an act of service. People with this love language like their loved ones to help them when they are stressed and offer to do things like errands when needed.
Gifts are a clear love language. Necklaces, candy, shoes; if you love receiving gifts and need gifts (no matter how big or small) in order to feel more secure in your relationship, this is your primary love language. This gift is less about materialism however, and more about the thought behind them. Thoughtfulness is key when someone has this love language.
Quality time is one that I learned many of my sisters have during our formal recruitment process. This love language means that sharing good time together and meaningful conversation is what he/she needs. Being uninterrupted (ditch the cell phone) and really paying attention to someone helps show that you really do care about them and love them.
The last love language is words of affirmation. This means saying things like "I love you" or hearing kind words about what you have done or what you look like. People like to hear that they are loved and appreciated by those around them and those who they feel they are close too. People with this love language struggle with harsh criticism and flourish with positive statements.
When thinking about my sisters, each of them has a different primary love language. My mom has a different primary love language. I have a different love language than my roommate. I challenge you to look at how to love others well and how to make them feel loved. A little thought towards this can go a long way with someone who just needs their love tank filled up a little more.
