The meaning of the word "dating" has changed quite a lot throughout the years. Back in the day, if a man was interested in a woman, he would go up to her and ask her on a “date." A date usually meant going out to dinner or going to the movies. And if he wanted to see her again, he would ask her on another date. If after a few dates they both saw a future together, they would be considered “dating” and it would be exclusive. However, our society has a new meaning of the word “dating." People hardly use “dating” when describing their relationships with others. Nowadays people use the words “talking,” “together,” “friends with benefits,” and “hooking up” to avoid the more committed sayings “dating” and/or “boyfriend/girlfriend”.
Once I realized this by comparing older movies to the society I live in, and how I view relationships personally, it made me wonder what changed. Is it because people are scared of commitment? Is it an issue with all the advancements in technology, with all the new dating or “talking” websites and aps? Social media is the reason for many people's lack of communication and interpersonal skills today.
When I was in middle school, my friends started having boyfriends/girlfriends in the sixth grade. The meaning of dating then meant sitting together at lunch, holding hands and hugging in the hallway, and just establishing that they both liked each other. No one tried to hide their feelings or the fact that they thought someone was cute. It’s as if there were no trust issues or any uneasiness about getting hurt. Maybe the reason for this open heart is because young kids haven’t felt betrayal, insecurity, or heartbreak. It seems like when were young, everyone wanted to have an established label. Once I got to high school, things definitely changed.
In high school, the want for someone turned into just a sexual want instead of an emotional one. If a guy finds a girl pretty, his automatic goal is to see if he can get with her. A relationship is definitely not in most people’s minds when they see someone they are attracted to. High school is the experimental time period in one’s life. It’s the time period where you give things a shot and see what happens. It’s the time where most people have their first heartbreak, make the most mistakes, and hope to not make the same ones again. Naturally, not everyone learns their lesson the first time.
Now you’re at the next chapter in your life, either working full time or at college trying to get your degree. This is a time in your life where you trust yourself to learn from your mistakes and hope you make it out of these next few years alive. Every single person is the way they are today because of the experiences they faced yesterday. Some people messed up, learned, and grew. Others are still messing up, needing to learn, and are still maturing. Life puts these two types of people together, and it can get messy, especially when dealing with “dating."
There are people looking just to have fun, people with commitment and trust issues, and people ready to give it another try. However, when in the process of doing your own thing, you have no idea what the other person may be ready to do. In college, there are people who are “talking” or “together." This means that they both established that there is interest between each other, and they are not trying to hide this interest, but are not yet ready for a steady relationship label. There is the scandalous “friends with benefits” or “hooking up,” which are for those who are attracted to one another and use each other specifically for physical benefits. However, this label gets messy if feelings begin to develop only on one side.
Why does it have to be so complicated, right? I think society and the media take some part of the blame. Society advertises sex more as a “no strings attached” kind of deal, whereas back in the day, it was associated with love and someone you want to be with for the long term. Its crazy to think how something so strong as love and relationships can be so desensitized due to social media and society’s change in viewpoint.
