Imagine a frame in your mind with the landscape of a bustling New York City street. It is rush hour, and hundreds of people are hurrying past each other. Some are fixated on their phones, while others are absorbed in their thoughts. Each person is living an entirely singular experience in this moment. Perhaps some are engaging with others, but few are reaching past the familiar bounds we tend to enjoy living in. In reality, few people are connecting with the strangers around them and we somehow find this normal. Is it possible that the only thing the people in this frame have in common is that they are all strangers?
In this one frame, you are witnessing hundreds of stories. Each person holds an entire novel of experiences, memories and thoughts. In this one frame, there is an infinite amount of stories all co-existing and for a moment, try to imagine the magnitude of similarities in these stories. Imagine the limitless ways that people could connect and relate to one another if they just took the moment to ask the person next to them, "What is your story?"
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While waiting for my drink in a coffee shop last summer, I looked around at the hectic scene unfolding around me. There was a mass of people crammed into this little café, all experiencing such singular moments. There was a shortage of available tables and interestingly, most people were sitting alone. There wasn’t an open table in the entire shop, but rather only one person was occupying each table of four. Amusingly, each person was blissfully unaware of the people around them, but rather engrossed in whatever cognitive movie was occurring in their minds. I began to wonder what it would be like if those people sat together. At the time this thought came from a place of frustration for the lack of a place to sit, but as I left the coffee shop with my Chai tea in hand, I wondered how much people miss out on one another by simply accepting that they are strangers. The thought that I would have probably connected with someone in that coffee shop if I had simply taken the time to get to know them couldn’t leave my mind. What was I missing out on?
Then, when I stumbled upon The Stranger’s Project, I found that in another coffee shop story, a curious and even courageous man asked himself the same question. Brendan Doman was sitting outside of a coffee shop watching people pass by when he began to wonder what else we had in common with each other besides being strangers? With that idea in mind, and the tenacity to find the answer, he wrote a sign that said “Hi there! Please stop and share your story!” Soon enough, two women stopped by with equal curiosity and a beautiful movement began known as The Stranger’s Project. As Brandon says, it is based on the idea that “everyone has a story worth sharing; we are just waiting for someone to listen” and if given the opportunity, people want to share their story and their knowledge. As humans we crave to be able to connect and to feel less singular in this world. However, this craving stems from the false idea that we are alone in our experiences.
What began as a simple coffee shop experiment became an entire initiative. By creating a space for people to open and connect, Brandon has been able to show that we connect on such a deeper level beyond that fact that we are all simply strangers. In fact, he has been able to show that in reality, we are not strangers. That if we simply took a moment to open ourselves up to the possibility of getting to know someone else’s dreams, desires, fears and experiences, that we will find that we are all actually quite similar. The stories in The Stranger’s Project are handwritten, kept anonymous and written on the spot. They are prompted with only one simple question; what is your story?
15,000 stories and one book later, Brandon has created a physical place for these connections to happen. While thumbing through his book, a couple hundred beautiful stories lay in a collection in front of me. Some tell stories of blue crayon marks on the wall of a childhood home, trapping a moment of youth in time while others, tell the story of a mother who was always there for her daughter and how without her mother's devotion, this woman wouldn’t be the same. Finally, there is the story of someone who wonders what their story is and whether or not they truly have one. While certain experiences feel like some of my own, others are extremely foreign to me. Either way, somehow even my differences allow me to connect with these anonymous entries. The people who I have accepted to be strangers around me are actually not strangers at all.
What the beautifully messy and raw handwriting on each page revealed to me, was that anonymity and the idea of strangers are both irrelevant. The human condition and the desire to connect and feel relatable are things we all experience. Our journey is not singular in the negative sense of the word, but rather our journeys are meant to be shared with one another and that is what adds value to our lives. We are individuals and we are unique in our own way, but we are all connected beyond what we see.
So the next time you feel alone or that you are lost in space, floating aimlessly around and without a sense of direction, stop to remember that the person next to you may be equally as lost. Perhaps they have the map that you are looking for and will give you the guidance you need. Maybe you will both just share a laugh about something painfully funny in the moment. Either way, you will have made one less person in this world a stranger.
Take the time to get to know the people around you; what you find may surprise you. The next time you are waiting in line in a chaotic coffee shop, turn to the person next to you and ask the question that started it all, what’s your story?
