Why are we so afraid of a break up? I was in a relationship for almost six years with a person that was completely wrong for me, but decided to hold on simply because we had history and I felt like I would be throwing away those six years of my life. After we broke up, I began to think about why I was so hung up on him and why was I so upset about losing someone who isn’t right for me? Then I began to think. It’s almost like a new beginning to re-create a story that we suddenly realized we didn’t want to live. You get to re-create a story with a better vision of yourself. If we understood that if the relationship didn’t work out, it only means that we discovered something about ourselves and what we do want, compared to the pain and misunderstanding of what we thought we wanted; whatever you had isn’t necessarily what you wanted anyway. It doesn’t mean that the relationship was a complete waste, because you shared real moments, real memories with someone who was once special.

Why are we so sad to lose something that isn’t right for us? Yeah, losing someone who was there for you in a transformative part of your life is devastating, but this only leaves room for us to grow. We may be temporarily lost, and feel like we can’t move on, but there is going to be someone out there who aligns with you so well, that you’ll be confused why you held onto the wrong person for so long. If you could be so happy with someone who isn’t right for you, imagine how happy and magical is could be with someone who is right for you. It’s scary to leave behind something we once knew to jump into to something that we don’t know the outcome of, but isn’t that the joy and risk we all love to take?

What would life look like if everything was planned out for us and we knew what was going to happen? Wouldn’t that be boring? Life isn’t meant to be so structured, that’s why we call it freedom. Even if you’re the one who was broken up with, you don’t want someone who is going to throw you away like that anyway. We all go through life looking for something that’s going to make us happy for the rest of our life, but what happens when we shift our thinking in regards to who holds that ability to makes us truly happy? Is it another person? Or is it simply in ourselves to figure out that we are all perfect and beautiful beyond belief in our own unique way? I hope each and every one of us who either broke up with someone, or got broken up with, have the strength to shift our thinking to believe that we, as an individual, have the key to create our own happiness, and we have no one else to thank but those who we once were in a relationship with. I’m still confused and a little lost in the process, but I’m slowly starting to believe in myself again. There’s a happiness that I hold in myself that I never knew, and I’m learning how to instill this way of thinking and being. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Be easy on yourself. Trust in the process, and believe in yourself again. I believe in you, and you should too. Forgive them and move on, you gave them enough of your time and they don’t deserve to take up any more of your time. Sing those sappy love songs to yourself, because you deserve to be treated like a queen, and that right person is on the way.