The most dreaded week is upon us, friends: finals. For professors, I imagine this week is glorious; they don't have to teach class, only administer one exam. For students, this is real life hell week. Between studying and sleeping, there is no time left over for extracurricular activities- like showering, working out, or socializing. If you are like me, this intense change in my regular schedule is taking a serious toll on myself and my body. My face is breaking out due to stress, I am exhausted in every way possible, I seem to be suffering from a never ending migraine, and I am ready to punch anybody who texts me during a study session directly in the face.
Regardless of how we feel, we push on.
Saturday morning, I sat down in a lecture hall around 6:45 in the morning and prepared for my physics final forty-five minutes later. Three hours later, my exam time was over and the emotion hit me. Over the course of fifteen questions and three hours, I had convinced myself that my life would be wrecked if I did not make the grade I needed in order to get the grade I both needed and wanted. After pouring over the master file and realizing I could not remember half of what I had answered, I settled myself into student limbo- will I have to retake this class next semester to improve my grade? Let me tell you, as a pre-professional student this question alone feels like a make-or-break type deal. After a long, repetitive conversation with my mother on the phone, I was reminded that I did not have control over how my situation would play out, and that it was best if I just not worry about it anymore.
Then it hit me.
I was literally driving myself to a frantic state over one test. One test, which had only fifteen questions and twenty-five points total, had me on the verge of tears. There was absolutely no purpose to my distressed state. There was absolutely nothing I could do to change the situation. Worrying so desperately over my situation was ridiculous.
How stupid.
Let me remind you, student to student, of something you must hear during this time. You are not your IQ. You are not your GPA. You are not defined by a letter on your transcript. You are not defined by one singular test, and to be honest, you are not defined by an acceptance or rejection from professional school.
You are so much more than how you perform on an exam, or even a million exams. Your intelligence cannot and should not be defined by someone else's definition. Your ability to learn is dependent on more variables than imaginable.
I firmly believe that each individual is inclined to particular fields or subjects. We are all hard-wired for a specific purpose and the challenge is to find that purpose. If you are really struggling in a particular subject, know that it is not your love, and it may not be in line with your purpose. Just to put it into a perspective, I know a highly autistic child who could recite science textbooks verbatim if you'd listen. This specific child can barely speak to anyone other than his mother or teacher and is considered subpar as a student, but if you ask him a direct question about something he loves and give him five minutes to talk, he shines like a diamond.
You also need to understand that your purpose may not be easy. You very well may struggle, cuss, cry, fail and flatly be rejected from your path. If it is your path however, you will know. You will never lose heart to pursue your purpose, and it will ultimately work out exactly how God has intended.
Remember that you are more and your purpose was aligned before the stars were hung in the sky.
Take courage.
