"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
First off, before you stop reading because you assume this only pertains to dating relationships, know that this is not that kind of article. It is so easy to look at this verse and claim it only pertains to dating or marriage, when in reality that is not the case. In fact, this verse is a call to both Christians and the entire world on how to love all of those around us. This verse applies to how we treat our families, our friends, and even just our peers.
Lately, I have found myself only thinking this verse applies to my parents or other married couples, when in reality it is a call to how I treat everyone I encounter. Personally, my main goal in life is to love others well; however, how can I do that when I do not even properly know what love is? This verse challenged me as it reminded me of the sacrifice that love takes that I owe to all my friends and the wonderful people that surround me in my life.
Feeling convicted, I broke this verse down into parts, and really challenged myself to begin to show the following aspects of “true” love and kindness to all those around me.
First, love is patient. In this day in age we, we have so much instant gratification, that it is so hard to actually wait for something. However, loving someone is counter-cultural; we cannot expect instant gratification. Love is the ability to be able to wait, the ability to not be pushy, the ability to give someone space, and the ability to not be expectant. There is such beauty in being able to patiently wait for someone rather it just be waiting on them to run an errand, or waiting on them to reach a phase of life. I personally applied this by thinking of some of my friends that are in different phases of life. Instead of throwing them out because of their choices, I should support them and still always be there to catch up.
Second, love is kind. Although we all like to assume we are kind, kindness is not always as easy as we think. True kindness is given to someone without anything being expected in return. Kindness is always being supportive and careful to ensure our words and intentions to lift one another up rather than tear one another down. True kindness is shown when we love and support our friends even when they seem to be in constant negativity.
Third, love does not envy. Love is selfless and celebrates others' successes. Sometimes when a friend has everything going their way, it is easy to get jealous of that; however, love tells us to be happy for them rather than thinking of ourselves and getting jealous. For example, when a friend gets that job you both wanted, love is the ability to step back and celebrate the opportunity for him or her without being spiteful.
Fourth, love does not boast. The most important factor about love is that it is not about you. Love isn’t self-centered; true love is the ability to be real and not feel the need to constantly one-up and outdo others. In fact, constantly feeling the need to be better than others and impress everyone is exhausting—it is better to simply be yourself and practice humility. As friends, we are called to be open and real with each other rather than be in constant competition.
Fifth, love is not proud. Love is the ability to look someone in the eyes and I say, “I messed up.” There is such beauty in apologies and admitting imperfections. True love really harnesses that. It means so much in a friendship when we can admit faults and apologize. It takes the friendship to a deeper level.
Sixth, love does not dishonor. Love is about lifting others up, not tearing them down. It is important to again, check your intentions and ensure you are treating others with respect and integrity.
Seventh, love is not self-seeking. We often have to realize that what is best for us may not be best for the people we love. We have to shift our focus away from ourselves and toward others as we ditch the “what’s in it for me”? mindset and focus on what we can do for others.
Eighth, love is not easily angered. In order to love our peers, we need to practice understanding, and we must actively make the choice to choose love over anger. Love is about being able to understand a situation from another perspective before firing off about it.
Ninth, love keeps no record of wrongs. It is so easy to fall into the habit of “keeping score,” however, true love calls us to fully forgive one another and avoid bringing up past arguments. Forgiveness is not easy, but I think with love it comes from a perspective of humility as you are able to forgive others' mistakes because you recognize the forgiveness required for your own.
Tenth, love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. This is key as it points out how love is not supposed to be full of negativity. It is important to ask yourself in friendships and relationships, am I a better person when I am with this person, or do we just drag each other into negativity? Love calls us to celebrate goodness and honesty, while casting out slander and bad attitudes.
Eleventh, love protects. Love calls us to look out for one another and always want what is best for the other. One difficult aspect of this is that we are called to have those hard talks with our friends when they are on paths that are not best for them.
Twelfth, love trusts. Love calls us to trust each other, meaning we must believe in our friends. We cannot doubt others and assume they won’t be there for us; we must trust in them and not be constantly questioning them or judging them based on previous experiences with other people.
Thirteenth, love hopes. Love does not jump to the negative; it hopes for the positive in every situation.
Last but not least, love always preserves. This is key as we realize that love is not something you choose to do when it’s convenient. True love exists both when your friend does something to brighten your day and when that same friend shows up at your door in tears for the third time this week. True love lasts through hard situations and is always there to help someone in times of trouble.
All this to say, this is not a challenge to drop everything in your life to love others. Rather, it is a helpful reminder of how we should treat our friends and those around us. Imagine how much better the world would be if we all practiced true, selfless love.
